Why You Need to Learn How to Laugh at Yourself

Being able to laugh at yourself is extremely Godly.

Why? That seems weird...

But it's super true. Let me tell you how I learned it.

Origin Story

From birth until 24 years of age, I was what some people like to call a "sensitive person." I got sad when people made fun of me. I took it personal when someone made a joke about something stupid I did. I just couldn't handle it. And I think that's pretty standard for people.

At least, from my experience anyways. Most everybody's insecure about SOMETHING. And when you get made fun of for that specific thing, it puts you on the defensive.

Then I met Damon, who didn't follow this rule at all.

Watching My Boss Laugh at Himself

Damon was my boss from 2011 to 2013.

Writing that makes me feel like I'm doing my resume. Oh well.

Anyway, I'm fairly confident that if there was a boss pageant, Damon would win. At least, in the "being a good boss" category of the pageant. And possibly the facial hair category as well.

One of the first things I noticed about Damon was his ability to laugh at himself. If he did something stupid, he would laugh just as hard as anyone else. And sometimes harder. It always mesmerized me that he was able to do that, because I knew I couldn't. 

Where I would go to great lengths to cover up the slightest screw-up on my part, Damon would broadcast the embarrassing things he did, often inviting people to chime in to comment on them.

I just couldn't understand why or how he did it.

Why did he offer himself up for other peoples' pleasure like that? How was he strong enough to do it without crying/dying on the inside?

Why Laughing at Yourself is Godly

I don't think we ever talked about it, Damon and I. 

I think one day, I just got it.

Damon's perception of his value wasn't tied up in what he did. Not even in the least bit. Somehow, he had achieved what many people only dream of. He had found a way to TRULY have his identity where it belonged -- in the fact that he was a son of God.

He knew he was a brilliant stroke from God's paint brush, a part of a grand mural that's telling a grand story. And no silly thing he did, like tripping or falling or having a booger in his nose while he was speaking at Youth Group, was going to change that.

And man, if that wasn't the most admirable thing in the whole wide world.

One day, it finally started to click with me, too. I began to understand how to laugh at myself, at my own weaknesses.

How to Laugh at Yourself

Let me tell you what you need to know to be free enough from your insecurity to laugh at yourself:

You need to know that the type of body you have doesn't define you.

You need to know that the type of mind you have doesn't define you, either.

You need to know that the things you can't control don't and will never define you as a person.

If you're clumsy, and you're self conscious about it, it doesn't define you.

If you are forgetful, and you're self conscious about it, it doesn't define you.

I used to be super self conscious about how slow I do things, and how I don't notice things, and how I do the DUMBEST things because I'm not paying attention to something obvious. Last week, when I was playing pool, I hit the orange 5 ball with my pool stick instead of the cue ball. Because in my mind, for some reason, the 5 was the cue ball. This is what I deal with on a daily basis. I should get an award.

But here's the secret: I've learned not to associate "me" with the largely inept parts of my brain that don't do the jobs they're supposed to. 

My brain isn't me. My body isn't me. My soul is me. And God crafted my soul carefully and made it beautiful and powerful and useful and valuable. And that's where "me" is.

And because of that, I can laugh about how my dumb brain made me hit the 5 ball instead of the cue ball. I don't have to think about how much I suck because of the parts of me I don't like. Because those are just the shoddy parts of the "vehicle" my spirit is riding in.

Laughing at Yourself Makes People Like You More

One of my favorite parts of learning how to laugh at yourself without taking a deep strike on who you are is this: It honestly makes people like hanging out with you more.

Imagine with me for a second... You hang out with a friend, and your friend trips. You can't help but laugh a little. You really want to laugh at him, but you know he'd be really mad about it. So you try really hard not to laugh.

Now, Imagine a different scenario... Your friend trips, and goes tumbling down the stairs. He looks like an absolute fool. You let out an "oh my gosh" until you realize he's okay. And the way you find out he's okay is the cackling laughter emerging from the pile of carnage and school books. He says, "Holy cow, did you see that? that was hilarious!" So you feel better about that natural laugh that starts to set in. You and him laugh for thirty minutes about how silly he looked rolling down the stairs. What a goof.

You're going to like hanging out with the second person more.

When someone can be their natural self around you, they're going to feel more comfortable with you. They're going to feel like they can truly be themselves around you. And people love not having to edit themselves for fear that they might offend someone.

When one of your friends feels comfortable enough to laugh at you, they're saying, "We are good enough friends that I know you know I still love you, even if I mess with you a little bit." They see you as a strong person. That's why they feel comfortable making fun of you. And deep down, they're grateful that they don't have to edit themselves at all around you.

At least, that's often how it is...

I'll admit, I'm not perfect at laughing at myself. I still run from people making fun of me sometimes. But for the most part, I've learned to separate myself from the silly things my brain does. And it's just all around better for everybody.

Learn to laugh at yourself. It's a necessary life skill.

Damon for class president.