Lack of Community: A Sure-Fire Way to Crash and Burn in Your Spiritual Life

Photo by Joe & Jeanette Archie

One of the best ways to hamper your spiritual life is to do it all by yourself.

Often, when things get bad in our lives, community is the first thing we drop. We stop the intentional conversations with friends, we stop opening up in our Bible studies, and we don't tell anyone about the turmoil that rages inside of us.

 Because, somehow, we don't always put much stock into any of that stuff. 

"What's it gonna help for me to tell someone? That'll just make me feel like a wuss." Or, "They don't want to hear about my mess. I don't want them to know about it, either. I'd rather it just be a secret."

Let me tell you something you may not be noticing:

You're being attacked. Your community is being fought over. Someone is tugging at the rope. And if you don't tug back, it's going to get pulled right out of your hands.

The enemy attacks your ministry, your relationship with God, and your decision making ability all at the same time... simply by destroying your community.

"Community, huh? That sure does sound like a strange place to attack someone. Why is that?"

Let me answer that question by explaining a metaphor. In the Bible, Satan's attacks are sometimes described as "flaming arrows."

The Flaming Arrow Metaphor

Back in the olden days, armies would shoot flaming arrows into an unsuspecting enemy's camp. But the main use of this strategy wasn't to kill people... it was to cause complete havoc. It was to separate the camp.

The attackers knew that an army marching together was much more fearsome than a bunch of isolated soldiers, far from the instruction of their general. When the camp went up in flames, the attacking army had no trouble defeating their enemy, scattered and confused.

This is how the enemy attacks us. Fiery arrows of isolation keep us from experiencing community. When a person becomes isolated, a person becomes weak.

My Example of Flaming Arrows Stealing My Community

What does a flaming arrow from the enemy look like in real life?

Let me give you an example:

My flaming arrows land in my relationships. They drive me away from deep connection with dear friends. I'll get mad at a friend if they do something that frustrates me. But I won't tell him. I'll think, "I'll just deal with this myself." Because deep down, I'm too scared to confront the person.

But I can't deal with it myself. I just think I can. When I don't extinguish the fire the arrow started, that anger begins to grow inside me. I'll often be mad at a person for a long time after, and he won't even know he did anything wrong. 

And because of that anger, I hold back on talking about deep things. And it hurts both of us. It isolates me from my friend... which makes both of us more vulnerable to lies.

People start believing lies when they are alone. Lies about themselves, lies about other people, and lies about God’s identity. Community brings clarity, and clarity brings a healthy spiritual life.

What Are Your Flaming Arrows?

What do your arrows look like? If the arrows had names, what would they be? Are they things that your friends did that hurt your feelings? Because if they are, you'll have to pull them out before you can have your community back.

Are they tied to your shame? Maybe you're ashamed of something but you want to save face... so you think, "maybe I won't tell my friends about this." But then, you just have to deal with the voices of shame all by yourself.

Try to identify your own arrows. Any problem that keeps you from experiencing open community can be classified as a flaming arrow (and obviously, some things you won't share. But it's healthy to share about struggles).

 Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• What arrows do I normally notice?
• Where have they landed in my life? 
• What kinds of fires do they start? Arguments? Gossip?
• What friends or family have they driven me away from? 
• How can I reconcile these relationships and move back into that community?

Get a group you can discuss deep things with, if you haven’t already. Talk about your ministry and your life.

Don't be fooled. Community is not just hanging out with people. Community is intentional. It continues outside of bible study, and it's one of the sweetest things there is. And often times we don't pursue this higher standard because we don't know there really can be more.

Strive for deep relationships. Because isolation will mess you up.

 Proverbs 27:17 - "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 - "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

Galatians 6:2 - "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."