The Secret Ingredient for Growing in Relationship With God and Getting Better at Stuff

Photo by Susan L.

"I'll never get better at this. I'm just bad at it."

Ever thought it? I sure have. What about this one:

"I wish I could just know God better."

That one hits home for me.

I've done a lot of wishing I could know God better. I've done a lot of thinking I'd never make any progress, either (especially in high school).

But since I've moved to Nashville, God's taught me something really cool through all my writing practice. He's taught me the secret ingredient to making progress -- in relationship with Him AND in getting better at stuff. So much value... rolled up into one tiny ingredient.

Want to know what it is?

Of course you do. Well then, let me tell you:

Just show up.

All you have to do is show up. And you'll be ahead of 90% of the rest of the world.  Allow me to explain.

I've noticed this pattern since I've been in Nashville. I realized nobody, myself included, wants to take the time to get good at stuff. I figured I should just be born a good writer, or I'm not gonna be a good writer.

But then, I started scheduling chunks of time to just write, not caring whether it was good or bad. Most of the time, it was complete crap (sorry, you can't see). But I realized that whenever I was doing it consistently, I was waking up better at it the next day. It somehow made me better... because I was actually writing. And when you're actually writing, you're actually getting better. And, sure enough, the next week I was writing slightly better stuff.

Woody Allen says, "80% of life is showing up."

I think he's onto something.

Why is showing up so important?

1. It gives us the time we need to grow.

When you do something once every 2 months, you're probably going to stay bad at it. And then, you're going to say, "Why am I not getting better? I must just not be able to get better. I must just be stuck like this..." But that's the problem you have when you aren't doing it frequently enough. You've gotta trust the process, whether it's a skill or a relationship.

 We need time with God to grow our relationship with Him. Sit down for 15 minutes per day for a month and listen to him, and see what happens. Watch yourself get annoyed the first few times when you can't hear him, keep showing up, and then get watch yourself get better and better.

2. It takes a long time to grow. 

Doing something over a long period of time is what changes us. When you work out consistently for months at a time, that's when your physical body dramatically changes. When you spend time with God consistently for months at a time, that's when your heart dramatically changes. It takes longer than a few weeks to actually change.

3. It often doesn't depend on us to grow.

This is especially true when it comes to growing spiritually. We don't have to change ourselves. God changes us. And it doesn't take anything special -- it just takes time. And that's true in any relationship. If you want to grow in a relationship, you just have to invest time. You don't have to do something really hard. You just have to show up.

Also, this is how "muscle memory" works (the thing that your body needs to play guitar).You just do the same thing over and over, until your fingers do the thing without you even having to think about it. It doesn't take special talent to do the same thing over and over.

4. When you show up, you start seeing where you need to improve. 

Yes, "perfect practice" is the only way to get "perfect." BUT, perfect practice is just being conscious of what you're messing up on as you're practicing. Show up, and then you can figure out the rest while you're there.

This works in a relationship with God, too. Showing up is wayyy more important than getting yourself right beforehand. That's why God says, "Come as you are." Because if you show up, you can work out the kinks when you get there. And besides... God cares a lot more about YOU than he cares about the kinks.

So, if it's not that hard to show up... then why's it so hard to get myself to do it?

The process of doing it isn't what's hard. It's getting ourselves started that's the hard part. It's not hard, but it is. Why?

We're afraid of imperfection. We don't want it to be messy. We want to have our stuff together. In writing, music, God, everything. Things have to be right the first time around. We have to write a best selling novel with the first story we write. We have to be "living better" before we show our face around God.

But imperfection is part of showing up. We have to write poorly before we can write well. We have to have awkward times with God, where we don't know what to talk about, where we say, "uhh... um... I like your... clouds.. today...." before we get comfortable enough to go deeper. But that's the beauty of it. It's supposed to be messy at first. Showing up doesn't require perfection. It really just requires... showing up.

So, the moral of the story:

If you want to get better at writing: write.
If you want to get better at Chinese: speak Chinese.
If you want to get closer to God: show up.

See the pattern?

Whatever your goal is -- writing, photography, guitar, a deeper relationship with God -- try making it a priority to just show up every day. You'll most likely find that your results get WAYYYY better.