An Hour a Day: The Necessity of Spending Daily Time with God

Photo by Tim Parkinson

An hour a day.

That is what I felt like God wanted from me last year. One hour per day of time with Him.

Have you ever felt like you should spend more time with God, but you just never get around to it?

Me too.

I spent an hour a day, for about a day, and then promptly disregarded it.

I've lived many days without that hour in the past year. Because, let's face it—other things just seem more important sometimes.

The Distraction of Busyness

I moved to Nashville last year because I felt the calling to write a book. And in order to do that, I had to create space in my life to write a book. Once I got here, I was blown away by what I didn't know. I realized:

1. I had no idea how to write a book.
2. I had no idea what to do with a book once I had written it.
3. I had no idea how to get other people to take a second glance at my future book.

That huge knowledge gap scared me. I wasn't sure what to do. So I did the only thing I could think of. I started reading, blogging, and practicing... as much as I could.

There didn't end up being much room for "an hour a day" in my strict new schedule. It was more of "an hour here, 10 minutes there, 30 minutes three days later..."

But the funny thing is, right when I moved here—while I was frantically learning as much as I could—I had this feeling that God was trying to tell me something:

"You think you're here to carry my message, to write a really awesome book, to do all this work—but my main goal for you...is just to spend time with me."

Which obviously sounded counterintuitive to me. So I didn't pay much attention. I've got other things on my plate, God.

Fast forward about six months. I've been trying to learn everything I can about blogging and writing. I feel the huge burden to write this book, so I can fulfill my purpose. I'm always behind in my work. It always seems like there's so much to do. 

Only One Thing Is Needed

A friend of mine sent me an email a while back. I had told her about my struggles, and she sent back a couple verses.

She sent me the story of Mary and Martha from Luke 10:41.

The verses were Jesus' words to Martha, when she was running around frantically, trying to get all her work done. Mary was just sitting at his feet. And when Martha asked Jesus to tell Mary to help out—because there was SO much work to do—this is what he said:

"Martha, Martha—you are worried about so many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Wow.

I've been scurrying around, doing all my stuff. I've been worried that if I don't get it all done, I'll mess up my purpose or something.

I have to learn how to grow my blog. I have to learn how to get my message out to millions of people. I have to learn how to write, market, and sell books so that God's purpose for my life can be fulfilled. I don't have time to just sit around for an hour a day...

But God's been saying all along, "the most important thing you can do... is to spend that hour with me."


And I've been too busy living my life like Martha.

Give the Seed Room to Flourish

I've picked up the "hour a day" routine again. I'm not perfect at it. I suck at schedules. But that's part of the growth process. And the time I spend with Him doesn't always feel groundbreaking... but I think God likes to make magic happen in the ordinary.

Here's why I told you that story. I believe God wants consistent, ordinary relationship time with you, too. Every day. It might not seem important. But that time is the water that grows the seed inside you.

Jesus says the kingdom of God is like a seed that grows, whether you know it or not (Mark 4:26). And that means... you and I don't have control over the actual growth of that seed. All we can do is give it the environment to flourish by showing up.

Give the seed inside you space to grow. Because at the end of the day—God's growth inside you is far more valuable than anything else.

You're worried about many things, but only one thing is needed.

The Two Different Types of Pride (The Second Isn't What You Think)

Photo by Alexis Nyal

One of my most surprising moments in Christianity was when I learned there were two different types of pride.

Of course, I knew about arrogance. Pride was always just arrogance to me. I was always careful to deflect everyone's compliments so I wouldn't be seen as arrogant...and so I wouldn't think too highly of myself.

Someone: "Hey, you're pretty smart!"

Me: "Nah, I'm really not. You definitely wouldn't be saying that if you followed me around all day."

Someone: "You're really good at that!"

Me: "Nah, there's a ton of people way better than me. I'm really not very good."

And then, of course, I had to make sure I didn't start thinking those things were true. Otherwise, I'd be prideful. So I'd quickly remind myself of why I'm actually terrible.

This is what I used to consider "humility."

I always thought this was okay—being really hard on myself, frequently criticizing my own actions, and agreeing with the voices in my head that said, "This is why you're not worth much."

I thought this was fine. After all, it does say in the Bible, "Don't think too highly of yourself than you ought," right? So berating myself is fine, because it means I'm safe from pride, right?

Wrong.

Actually, I realized when I was tearing myself down, I was being just as prideful as when I was being arrogant. You see, pride is actually the base problem that leads to both arrogance AND false humility.

Let me explain:

The Two Types of Pride 

#1. Arrogance:

Arrogance is straightforward. Arrogance is being consumed with thoughts of yourself. Arrogance is thinking too highly of yourself. When you have the base problem of pride, and you do something good, here's what happens:

• you do a good thing
• you start attributing that thing totally to yourself
• you start thinking way too highly of yourself 

Arrogance says, "I can do it on my own. I'm self-sustaining. I deserve more."


#2. False Humility:

False humility is the one we don't think about. It's the one that flies under the radar.

False humility is being consumed with thoughts of yourself, but these thoughts are all very low thoughts of yourself.

When you have the base problem of pride, and you do something bad, here's what happens:

• You screw up
• You wallow in self pity
• You beat yourself up over and over
• You constantly think about yourself negatively

False humility says, "I suck. I'm the worst. Everything about me is completely worthless."

The Common Thread between the Two

There's a common thread running through both of these:

They're both completely focused on us.

And "US" is not what we were made for. That's why it's so incredibly unsatisfying. We were made for more than that—we were made to focus outward.

That's the definition of true humility.

C.S. Lewis says, "Humility isn't thinking less of yourself... it's thinking of yourself less."

This quote completely blew my mind when I first heard it. Because I, like most others, would routinely tear myself down when I got a compliment—I thought it was the "Christian" thing to do. And I had no idea that my destructive self-critical thoughts were completely unhealthy.

Pride = Self, Humility = Others

The most important thing I've learned about pride is this:

When my focus goes from being outward to being inward, I'm being prideful.

That's the lens I look through when I look at pride now. "I'm so good" and "I'm so terrible" are both different forms of pride. 

I was completely floored the first time I realized this. But it all made sense, because they both end up making me the same amount of miserable.

How to Be Truly Humble:

Here are some new guidelines that have begun to cultivate true humility in my life:

• Stop thinking about yourself so much. When life is all about you, there's nowhere else to go but pride. It's either, "I'm so great" or "I'm so terrible." And neither are healthy.

• Make your life about God and others.  It's counterintuitive, I know, not worrying about yourself all the time. This is how we were made to work best. God wants our focus to be on Him and other people, not ourselves. 

• Stop attributing your successes and failures to yourself. Start seeing God's hand in both your wins and losses. That will keep you focused on Him, and not on you.

We were made for selfless living, says John Piper. He calls it "Christian Hedonism." It means finding your true joy and value in selflessness. And apparently, that's the way we were made to get real joy... Glorifying God instead. It's hard to do, but it's the way we will truly come alive.

And by the way—if you regularly beat yourself up...you owe yourself an apology. (Check AndreaLucado.com for a great post on apologizing to yourself.)

Lack of Community: A Sure-Fire Way to Crash and Burn in Your Spiritual Life

Photo by Joe & Jeanette Archie

One of the best ways to hamper your spiritual life is to do it all by yourself.

Often, when things get bad in our lives, community is the first thing we drop. We stop the intentional conversations with friends, we stop opening up in our Bible studies, and we don't tell anyone about the turmoil that rages inside of us.

 Because, somehow, we don't always put much stock into any of that stuff. 

"What's it gonna help for me to tell someone? That'll just make me feel like a wuss." Or, "They don't want to hear about my mess. I don't want them to know about it, either. I'd rather it just be a secret."

Let me tell you something you may not be noticing:

You're being attacked. Your community is being fought over. Someone is tugging at the rope. And if you don't tug back, it's going to get pulled right out of your hands.

The enemy attacks your ministry, your relationship with God, and your decision making ability all at the same time... simply by destroying your community.

"Community, huh? That sure does sound like a strange place to attack someone. Why is that?"

Let me answer that question by explaining a metaphor. In the Bible, Satan's attacks are sometimes described as "flaming arrows."

The Flaming Arrow Metaphor

Back in the olden days, armies would shoot flaming arrows into an unsuspecting enemy's camp. But the main use of this strategy wasn't to kill people... it was to cause complete havoc. It was to separate the camp.

The attackers knew that an army marching together was much more fearsome than a bunch of isolated soldiers, far from the instruction of their general. When the camp went up in flames, the attacking army had no trouble defeating their enemy, scattered and confused.

This is how the enemy attacks us. Fiery arrows of isolation keep us from experiencing community. When a person becomes isolated, a person becomes weak.

My Example of Flaming Arrows Stealing My Community

What does a flaming arrow from the enemy look like in real life?

Let me give you an example:

My flaming arrows land in my relationships. They drive me away from deep connection with dear friends. I'll get mad at a friend if they do something that frustrates me. But I won't tell him. I'll think, "I'll just deal with this myself." Because deep down, I'm too scared to confront the person.

But I can't deal with it myself. I just think I can. When I don't extinguish the fire the arrow started, that anger begins to grow inside me. I'll often be mad at a person for a long time after, and he won't even know he did anything wrong. 

And because of that anger, I hold back on talking about deep things. And it hurts both of us. It isolates me from my friend... which makes both of us more vulnerable to lies.

People start believing lies when they are alone. Lies about themselves, lies about other people, and lies about God’s identity. Community brings clarity, and clarity brings a healthy spiritual life.

What Are Your Flaming Arrows?

What do your arrows look like? If the arrows had names, what would they be? Are they things that your friends did that hurt your feelings? Because if they are, you'll have to pull them out before you can have your community back.

Are they tied to your shame? Maybe you're ashamed of something but you want to save face... so you think, "maybe I won't tell my friends about this." But then, you just have to deal with the voices of shame all by yourself.

Try to identify your own arrows. Any problem that keeps you from experiencing open community can be classified as a flaming arrow (and obviously, some things you won't share. But it's healthy to share about struggles).

 Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• What arrows do I normally notice?
• Where have they landed in my life? 
• What kinds of fires do they start? Arguments? Gossip?
• What friends or family have they driven me away from? 
• How can I reconcile these relationships and move back into that community?

Get a group you can discuss deep things with, if you haven’t already. Talk about your ministry and your life.

Don't be fooled. Community is not just hanging out with people. Community is intentional. It continues outside of bible study, and it's one of the sweetest things there is. And often times we don't pursue this higher standard because we don't know there really can be more.

Strive for deep relationships. Because isolation will mess you up.

 Proverbs 27:17 - "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 - "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

Galatians 6:2 - "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

Pay Attention to Your Idols, Because They'll Lead You Straight to God...

Image by EpSos .de

There's hidden information in your idols. Information about the way you were made.

What information, you ask?

The answer lies in their uncanny ability to capture your heart.

Idols have quickly become "public enemy #1" in church culture. If we like a certain TV show... we try to make sure it isn't an idol. If we're surfing Facebook a lot... we have to make sure it doesn't become an idol. If we care too much about a story or a team or a game... we worry that it's becoming an idol.

How does an idol control us so easily?

There's got to be a special something that gives it the special, "heart-capturing" power. But what is it? Why does a season of Friday Night Lights on Netflix capture my heart instead of English class? Why doesn't English class capture my heart?

In fact, why was I always thinking about Friday Night Lights while I was in English class?

What's the X factor that makes you want your idols?

Don't you want to know?

My Specific Idol

I'm going to be completely honest -- I was obsessed with video games when I was younger. Story games, to be exact -- the kind of games that call you into an adventure intertwined with a love story, and invite you in to be a part of it yourself.

Have you ever been pulled into a story? I'm sure you have. But have you ever been so pulled in that you wanted more than anything to just be a part of that story instead of your own?

Because that's how I felt when I was younger. Video games, movies, books... anything with an immersive world, I was hooked.

I was looking for something.

Those were my idols. I had a long time where I would ban myself from the stories, because I could tell I loved them more than God. They scared me. They were powerful, and I just couldn't figure out how they had so much power over me.

I longed to live in other stories. I hated my own story. I idolized other stories by escaping into them. And as hard as I tried, I couldn't get the idols to go away. I needed them.

But one day... it finally clicked.

The Reason Idols Are So Tempting

After some enlightening conversations with friends, I realized something: If I was made for God, and these things are so attractive to me -- why do I like THEM instead of God? And the answer, like a typhoon, came rushing in:

Because they look like something about God that I'm made to love.

They look like God. 

Think about it. What do you love about your idol? Dig deep. Think about the deep need it fills. If you're anything like me, your idol is filling a place that gives you a sense of value, beauty, or love.

Sound familiar?

The stories that I long to be a part of all share similar qualities:

• They create a grand new world for me to explore
• They give me a way to partake in a struggle bigger than me
• They offer a heroic purpose, a love interest, and a worthy adversary
• They promise a life of meaning

 God offers me every single one of these things.

Treat Your Idols Like a Scientist

If you were a researcher studying the ebola virus, how would you go about finding a cure? You would study it. What does it look like? When does it activate? How does it attack the body? When scientists begin to learn these things, they begin to develop a way to fight it.

Treat your idols the same way. Study them. Figure out what deep thing you're trying to get from them. Find out when they flare up and what they make you want. And then, figure out how God was supposed to be giving you that same thing. It's not far off, I can assure you. If it was, your idol wouldn't be an idol.

An idol is only an idol because it closely resembles a quality of God you were made for.

Don't settle for the idol version of your happiness. It actually kills you, you know. Instead, fight to understand how that idol reveals your unique original design, your unique favorite parts about God, and how you were created to connect with Him.

Here's how I'm uniquely designed: I LOVE adventure. And that's why my idols are often epic stories -- because I begin to doubt that God could ever give me a better story than the one I'm idolizing. That's kind of how it works.

I have a friend who LOVES love. She idolizes relationships with guys, because she doubts God could ever fill her deep spiritual needs better than a guy could.

Idols feed on the lie that God can't fill that part of us.

Study your God-substitutes. What do they mean about the unique cocktail of things you're craving from God? Because your idols are a CLUE to the parts of God you're searching for. Those are probably the parts of God that He most wants you to see.

You can see God in everything you love. And at its very core, everything you love is everything you were made for.

What are your idols pointing to, deep down?



Psalm 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

John 10:10 - "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."