Sometimes God Raises You Up Simply So You Can Make a Bigger Sacrifice . . .

Photo by Jason Train

Sometimes, you feel like you're wandering through life without any clue where you're going.

Other times, magic starts happening and you feel unstoppable.

My time in Nashville this past year has been an even mix. The beginning was extremely hard. I felt a little lost, a little lonely—and a lot afraid. 

But so far, the second half has been nothing short of a miracle. 

I want to tell you my crazy Nashville story, and the valuable secret about God I've learned from it.

Now...I Have to Admit Something.

The first six months of my time in Nashville were really hard.

I moved here to pursue music and writing. Six months later I was waiting tables at a hotel without being any closer to either goal. I had given up on music, and I was just trying to blog once a week and keep aiming at “writing my book,” whatever that meant.

The whole “having no clue what I want my life to look like” thing caught up with me.

And I was miserable. I felt like I had failed, I felt stupid for putting this dumb plan together (moving, taking a crap job, and writing) instead of looking for a “real job” before my internship ended.

The whole time, I felt like God was saying “wait and trust.”

But trust wasn't on my radar. I trusted in the job boards. I trusted indeed.com. That was my ticket out of this mistake. 

So instead, fear became the cadence of my life.

Fear that writing wasn't going to work out. Fear that I was missing out on something great back home. Fear that my resume was getting destroyed because I was waiting tables.

But 4 Months Ago...Everything Changed.

One day, as I was perusing a business blog I follow, I came across a guest post called "How to Get Awesome Results from a Low-Traffic Blog." I was intrigued. So I clicked and began to read.

The post was so good, I decided to send an email to the guy who wrote it.

As it turns out, that guy had left his writing job 3 days ago which turned out to be in Nashville, and he ended up asking me if I wanted to apply for it.

Um...yes. Yes I do.

I'm now working for an author management company run by a man who has done some remarkable things in the publishing industry. I feel so blessed that God put me in a place to learn how to write the book I feel He's called me to write...alongside people who have had major success doing it.

If you want to hear more about it, shoot me an email or leave a comment and we can have a nice chat :-)

But I believe God's BIGGEST lesson in all this...is about what comes after the blessings.

See, I don't think God put me here so I'd have a nicer life.

I think He put me here so I'd be in a position to give more of myself and make a bigger sacrifice.

Let me explain.

God Used the Book of Esther to Show Me This.

What? You mean like the book of Esther? What's that book even about?

That's what I said too.

Around the time I was feeling desperate, my friend Pua invited me to read Esther with her. She felt like God had a message for her in there, but she didn't know what it was. Naturally, I ran over to read it, because I wanted to figure it out before she did...

And that's when I found something that slapped me across the face. Let me set this up for you:

Esther was a poor Jewish girl living right smack in the middle of Persia. She had no parents, and her cousin Mordecai looked after her. They were both slaves.

All of a sudden, the king of Persia needed another queen. He looked all over Persia to find the woman he wanted to marry. And somehow...he chose Esther.

One minute, a slave—the next, a queen.

Esther's Purpose for Becoming Queen...Was to Risk Her Life.

At first glance, it seems like God decided, "Esther, you get to have a comfortable life of power and wealth. Have fun!" But when you look closer...God had much bigger plans. 

Right around the time Esther became queen, this evil guy named Haman tricked the king into sentencing every Jew in Persia to death.

People were horrified. In a few short months, every Jew in Persia would be exterminated.

Mordecai told Esther, "You have to do something! We're all going to be killed! Please, go talk to the king."

But an uninvited audience with the king was an automatic death sentence. The only way around it was if the king held up his golden scepter. But the king hadn't called Esther in for over a month. There was no way of knowing whether he even liked her anymore.

As Esther frantically told Mordecai how dangerous it was, he simply said:

"Who knows but that you've come to royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14)

And I love Esther's reply:

“...Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” (Esther 4:16)

Esther chose to risk it. And she set into motion a turn of events that saved every Jew in Persia from being murdered.

Here’s something interesting I noticed. Esther wasn’t raised up so that she could have an easier life. She was raised up so she could be in the position to make the sacrifice she was meant to make.

Not so she could have more fame, fortune, and fun. So she could help God's people.

And I Think That's God's Message for Us, Too.

God's given me a unique opportunity to learn about writing a book from the best in the business. And I know it's not a mistake that I'm learning these things.

But it's not just to make my life better. It's not just to learn how to make money. It's not the "Prosperity Gospel."

It's to learn how God wants me to give my life away.

It seemed like, through Esther, God was saying:

"I'm going to bring you into this place for a very important reason. And I want you to stay alert for the reason why you're learning how to do these things, because you're going to need to know how to do them when I ask you to sacrifice for me."

My time. My energy. My comfort. I want to be willing to give them away. If I get the chance to do something extremely impactful one day, I want to be willing to make that impact by working harder, risking more, and staying alert for whatever God calls me to do.

Wherever you are in your journey, I think God wants the same from you. When God blesses you with something great, keep an eye out for the purpose behind it.

This Will Be My Last Post for a Little While.

For a few months, I'm going to be taking a blogging hiatus. I'm going to focus on learning as much as I can. And when I come back, I'll have a revamped website and a new ebook.

If you've enjoyed reading the blog, I want to ask you to sign up for the newsletter so we don't lose touch (Just type your info into the orange bar at the top of the screen). I won't blow your inbox up, promise :-)

I'd hate to miss out on connecting with you when I come back, and I'll almost certainly have my ebook by then as well. It's called The Young Life Leader Survival Guide, and it's almost finished. 

I'll be sending everyone on my email list a free copy. I want you to have one!

(IMPORTANT: Check your email for a confirmation message immediately after you join.)

The new blog will focus on my deepest passion—helping people discover their purpose.

I hope you'll join me in a few months—Let's continue journeying together.

3 Ways to Beat Negativity and Slander in Your Friend Group

Photo by Gonzalo Baeza

I had an incredible house in college.

The dingy old "Sheila House" was everything I needed—dirt cheap rent, an acceptable house (one that wouldn't fall over), and a group of awesome roommates. It was perfect. We stuffed 8 guys into that place.

Only 4 were on the lease. Don't tell the landlord.

While we had some great times, we also had the same struggles as any house full of college kids does—like weird situations with bills, confusion over cleaning responsibilities, or misunderstandings that turn into groups of frustrated roommates...


I've lived in more than a few houses. And I've talked to a lot of other people from a lot of other houses. And here's something I've found out:

Roommates tend to struggle with negativity.

The Struggle of Slander

The most common gateway to negativity is slander.

What is slander? Well, let me give you some examples. Glad you're so curious today.

Think about the last time you said:

• So-and-so is just so annoying when he does this thing.
• She never shuts up about her boyfriend.
• He's just so freaking selfish. He never thinks about anyone but himself.
• [Insert comically demeaning impression of goofy friend here]

Those things could be considered slander.

Here's the thing—those kinds of ideas are infectious. When you hear them, they spread to you. When you say them, they spread to your friends. Take a minute to remember the last time you heard someone talking about someone else.

"John is a selfish jerk."

I'm willing to bet your mind automatically took on that person's idea, at least partially. And the next time you looked at the person being talked about, you thought, "Man, I guess John really is selfish." And your view of him was damaged because of it.

Slander is Destructive

We are all social learners. We all learn from other people. We can very quickly and easily change a friend's perception of other people if we start talking about them.

I don't think I need to explain to you how this can damage interpersonal relationships between friends, roommates, or families. I think we all know full well it's true. Because we've all experienced pain or isolation because of it.

Slander can be extremely damaging to:

• your ministry
• your friendships
• your spiritual community (you need this to be healthy)
• your friends themselves

Here's why it messes all these things up. When we talk bad about someone to someone else, we're disagreeing with the "Original Design" of that person—the plan God has had for that person from the beginning.

We're dooming them to be less than they were created to be in our own minds.

And that's sad. Especially when I look back and see the damage it's caused in my own life.

I have a long, colored history of participating in negativity. I've soured a friend's thoughts about another friend. I've joined in disparaging conversation about someone else that lead to a strained house community. I've even caused one of my roommates to stop trusting one of my other roommates.

And I want to tell you from experience—It's not worth it.

I believe slander is a tool used by Satan to destroy healthy community and isolate us.

3 Ways to Fight Negativity and Promote Community in Your House

If I want community in my house, I've found that I have to make a conscious effort to notice and fight slander and negativity when they pop up.

Here are three ways to do this:

1. Challenge what you hear about other people. When someone says something bad about another person, you normally believe it without questioning it. Then, you hear that negative echo in your head every time you're with them. I talked about slander to a friend recently...and she had realized that none of her bad thoughts even originated from her own mind. They were all from hearing other people talk about someone. She also realized they weren't even true. When you hear something about someone, ask yourself, "Do I think this is true? Or do my friends just think this is true?"

2. Open up your life. If you live in a house, be inclusive. Letting people in on your plans will break down barriers of isolation and lead to powerful community. It can also lead to healing conversation. Opening up to your friends is a powerful weapon when you're fighting to beat negativity and restore good friendship.

3. Be intentionally and awkwardly nice. Here's my favorite way to fight slander. When someone I know talks bad about someone else, I try to think of something extremely nice to say about the person being talked about. That always makes things super awkward, because NO ONE talks nice about people anymore...but it also unlocks something hidden away in people—their desire to build up their friends.  If you want to change a culture of negativity and stop slander, break the pattern by saying something awkwardly nice.


Fighting negativity requires two things: First, noticing it. Second, choosing to do something about it. Choose to do something about it when you notice it. If you're lonely or you need a good support system that's broken because of negativity—don't settle for it.

Change the game. Change your house. Change the world.

How Sites Like Buzzfeed Can Steal Your Sabbath

Photo by Mike Licht

So I noticed something the other day.

I spent part of my Sunday surfing around on good old Facebook. And then I realized it was stressing me out.

I was using Facebook as a way to relax...you know, because it's supposed to be relaxing to glide around the internet, sightseeing at your own pace.

But that's not what happened at all. Instead, one of those obnoxious magnetic headlines drew me in. It said something like "This is how we know we still have a problem in America." And its sole purpose was to make me furious.

Not exactly the emotional state I was planning for my day of rest.

Have you ever had a day off that somehow inexplicably wore you out just as much as a normal work day?

It's most likely because you had no peace. 

And Facebook may be one of the culprits.

If you ever get on Facebook, you know the articles I'm talking about—the ones with the headlines that say something like "A woman feeds a bear with her head, and what happens next is not surprising...I can't believe this is allowed to be on the internet!!!"

Here's a secret: the people who put out those "clickbait" headlines are using your emotions to make money.

For my content marketing job, I've been doing a lot of studying into why people share things online. Would you like to know what makes people share things?

The Buzzfeed "Provoke the Reader" Formula

Let me tell you what sites like Buzzfeed are doing to you.

In the book Made to Stick, Chip and Dan Heath reported a study that suggested when your heart rate goes up, you're more likely to share something on social media.

So...these sites' main goal is to get you to experience an emotion that makes your heart rate rise.

Emotions like:

• Anger
• Stress
• Astonishment
• Fear
• Humor 

Because if they can get you to feel one of those, you'll share it more often.

But...aside from humor, those emotions aren't very restful, are they? Buzzfeed isn't overly concerned about you getting the rest you need, are they? If you're like me, you almost never come away from Facebook feeling "rested."

Don't Let Social Media Steal Your Rest Day

People need legitimate rest in order to recharge. Once a week. It's how we were made. Our souls have to take a break from stress, work, and frustration.

For me, provoking social media articles are often the thieves who steal my rest. And it's been so subtle, I haven't realized it until now.

So, if you've been feeling run down, like your rest days haven't been rest days—keep a close eye on the articles you choose to read during your Sabbath. Are they designed to bring you away from a state of rest, so you'll do what they want you to do—share the article?

Be careful on your day of rest. Buzzfeed can take it from you.

Mark 2:27 - "Then Jesus said to them, "The Sabbath was made to meet the needs of people, and not people to meet the requirements of the Sabbath."

4 Good Reasons Why Opening Up to Your Friends Will Make Your Life Better

Photo by Derek Mindler

We live in a world of increasing isolation.

No one really opens up anymore. Because we don't have to. Instead, we can just choose to zone out, use our smartphones, watch Netflix.

We can choose to live the deepest part of our lives completely alone.

And many of us have. I know I've made that choice on plenty of occasions.

It's normal these days to live our deepest lives alone, and just show the fake surface to our friends. Why? Because "opening up" has been dubbed as something weak people do. So instead, we hide.

We hide in the dark, by ourselves at night in our bed, without any rational person's voice to challenge Satan's whisperings.

"You're pathetic. You'll never be good enough."

"Why can't you be more like her? Then maybe you'd have what she has."

"Don't tell anyone. Deal with this by yourself like a big boy. Everyone else does."

Let me tell you something. 

You are being lied to.

Many of the things your inner accuser says aren't even true. But you'll never know that unless you begin to open up about them. And that's why I've compiled a short list of four big reasons why opening up is extremely important to your ministry, community, and spiritual life.

4 Reasons to Open Up to Your Friends

1. It makes you stronger. Opening up feels like it makes you weak... but trust me, it doesn't. In my mind, there's a thought that I'll become a weakling if I open up. But every single time I've opened up, it's made me much stronger, resolved, and clear in my thinking. It's simply a good decision. Learn to think of opening up less like wussing out...and more like working out.

2. It not only makes you stronger, but it makes your friends stronger too. When you open up about your struggles, your friends realize it's okay to struggle themselves. Everyone struggles. Let's stop pretending that some of us don't! Hearing about your problems helps your friends grasp, own, and overcome their problems. You strengthen everyone along with you when you open up. The Bible uses the picture of "iron sharpening iron" to describe two people opening up to each other. Everyone gets sharper when true struggles are brought to the light.

3. People start believing lies when they're alone. Isolation is a huge factor in our pain, sin, and hurt... and in the lies we believe. When we're not listening to any voices of reason, we start to listen to that voice that beats us up when we're by ourselves in our beds at night, wondering why we don't measure up. But listening to a friend gives you another voice, one that can tell you if what you're believing about yourself is true or not.

4. You get closer to people you care about. And when community is strengthened... you get to understand your friends better...and have much deeper, meaningful relationships in your life. Who doesn't want that?

Yes, we live in a world of increasing isolation. But we don't have to settle for it. We can choose to open the door to the community we were made for.

But we truly have to choose it. We actually have to take a step forward.

Crack the door of your heart open to someone you trust. And don't be surprised when the blessings built up on the other side tumble into your life like an overstuffed closet.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 - "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up."

Improve Your Spiritual Life by Acting like...a Child?

Photo by ann_jutatip

Pressure always seems to accompany important goals.

Perform well, or fail in your purpose. That's what we tell ourselves.

As I've been writing my book, I've begun feeling the heaviness of intimidating, unanswered questions. What if I fail? What if I don't have what it takes to write a best selling book?

The pressure recently came to a tipping point for me. I started feeling like I had brought a Nerf gun into a war zone. I'm so in over my head, I thought. I don't know how to do this.

So I broke down. I wept over feeling inadequate to carry God's message well enough. He had entrusted me with something to say, something that's changed my life, and I felt completely insufficient to share that message in a compelling way.

But then, God met me with a surprising answer.

There's a little story in the Bible about how Jesus interacted with children (Matt. 19:14), where he says something extremely peculiar:

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them — for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

I've heard this verse all my life — but the message hit me differently this time:

The kingdom belongs to people who live, love, and ask like little children. People who don't fake like they know it all, like they can handle the heavy lifting alone. People who instead realize the need to depend on the one who's been guiding their story all along.

"Depending on God" has become a muddled, colorless phrase — a ringing we've tuned out, a smell we've gotten used to. We mindlessly say, "Yes, depend on God." And then we go off to build our castles without inviting Him to help.

But we've missed one thing — one wildly important thing — that we can't build anything of eternal significance without His hands.

When we do try, it's like carrying a toy gun into a war zone. Your gun may be big and impressive...but it's still shooting Nerf darts. Have fun trying to win a war with your Nerf darts.

We are out of our league.

But maybe God likes that. Maybe He crafted our lives this way on purpose, so He would get the glory instead.

That's been God's rhythm from the beginning.

So often, we feel unfit to do important things in this world. But we forget that He used the unfit people to do his greatest works.

Look what Moses said —“Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue...” (Exodus 4:10). 

Or what Gideon said —“Pardon me, my Lord, but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family” (Judges 6:15).

God always seems to invite the "unfit" to be key players in His big rescue story. Because they seem to be the only ones with the heart space to let God do what He wants. They're the only ones who know they HAVE to depend on Him.

In that case, I'm so glad I fit into the "unfit" category!

So God wants you to become more dependent, like a child. 

How do you do that?

Here are some ways to be more like a kid:

1. Kids know when they need help, and they ask for it. When children get hungry, they don't think, I've got to find a way to get the money to pay for McDonalds. They just say, "MOM! I need food." And they ask for it unashamedly. Because they're kids.

2. Kids have full trust that their parents will attend to their needs. As one might expect, children are masters of "childlike faith." After making their needs known, they don't sit there and worry whether their parents are going to come through. Kids have faith that their needs will actually be met.

3. Kids operate out of that safety. If it's dinner time, they'll make their way downstairs. If they need something for school — no need to order it online, because mom said it's going to be waiting for them by the door tomorrow.  Kids' actions reflect the certainty that their needs will be met.

I want these qualities in my relationship with God.

Because once they make their way into my spiritual life, I know I'll begin to see them in my writing, my job, and my ministry.

I'm convinced God wants that for me. And I think he wants it for you, too.

What might it look like for you to adopt childlike habits in your spiritual life?

An Hour a Day: The Necessity of Spending Daily Time with God

Photo by Tim Parkinson

An hour a day.

That is what I felt like God wanted from me last year. One hour per day of time with Him.

Have you ever felt like you should spend more time with God, but you just never get around to it?

Me too.

I spent an hour a day, for about a day, and then promptly disregarded it.

I've lived many days without that hour in the past year. Because, let's face it—other things just seem more important sometimes.

The Distraction of Busyness

I moved to Nashville last year because I felt the calling to write a book. And in order to do that, I had to create space in my life to write a book. Once I got here, I was blown away by what I didn't know. I realized:

1. I had no idea how to write a book.
2. I had no idea what to do with a book once I had written it.
3. I had no idea how to get other people to take a second glance at my future book.

That huge knowledge gap scared me. I wasn't sure what to do. So I did the only thing I could think of. I started reading, blogging, and practicing... as much as I could.

There didn't end up being much room for "an hour a day" in my strict new schedule. It was more of "an hour here, 10 minutes there, 30 minutes three days later..."

But the funny thing is, right when I moved here—while I was frantically learning as much as I could—I had this feeling that God was trying to tell me something:

"You think you're here to carry my message, to write a really awesome book, to do all this work—but my main goal for you...is just to spend time with me."

Which obviously sounded counterintuitive to me. So I didn't pay much attention. I've got other things on my plate, God.

Fast forward about six months. I've been trying to learn everything I can about blogging and writing. I feel the huge burden to write this book, so I can fulfill my purpose. I'm always behind in my work. It always seems like there's so much to do. 

Only One Thing Is Needed

A friend of mine sent me an email a while back. I had told her about my struggles, and she sent back a couple verses.

She sent me the story of Mary and Martha from Luke 10:41.

The verses were Jesus' words to Martha, when she was running around frantically, trying to get all her work done. Mary was just sitting at his feet. And when Martha asked Jesus to tell Mary to help out—because there was SO much work to do—this is what he said:

"Martha, Martha—you are worried about so many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Wow.

I've been scurrying around, doing all my stuff. I've been worried that if I don't get it all done, I'll mess up my purpose or something.

I have to learn how to grow my blog. I have to learn how to get my message out to millions of people. I have to learn how to write, market, and sell books so that God's purpose for my life can be fulfilled. I don't have time to just sit around for an hour a day...

But God's been saying all along, "the most important thing you can do... is to spend that hour with me."


And I've been too busy living my life like Martha.

Give the Seed Room to Flourish

I've picked up the "hour a day" routine again. I'm not perfect at it. I suck at schedules. But that's part of the growth process. And the time I spend with Him doesn't always feel groundbreaking... but I think God likes to make magic happen in the ordinary.

Here's why I told you that story. I believe God wants consistent, ordinary relationship time with you, too. Every day. It might not seem important. But that time is the water that grows the seed inside you.

Jesus says the kingdom of God is like a seed that grows, whether you know it or not (Mark 4:26). And that means... you and I don't have control over the actual growth of that seed. All we can do is give it the environment to flourish by showing up.

Give the seed inside you space to grow. Because at the end of the day—God's growth inside you is far more valuable than anything else.

You're worried about many things, but only one thing is needed.

The Two Different Types of Pride (The Second Isn't What You Think)

Photo by Alexis Nyal

One of my most surprising moments in Christianity was when I learned there were two different types of pride.

Of course, I knew about arrogance. Pride was always just arrogance to me. I was always careful to deflect everyone's compliments so I wouldn't be seen as arrogant...and so I wouldn't think too highly of myself.

Someone: "Hey, you're pretty smart!"

Me: "Nah, I'm really not. You definitely wouldn't be saying that if you followed me around all day."

Someone: "You're really good at that!"

Me: "Nah, there's a ton of people way better than me. I'm really not very good."

And then, of course, I had to make sure I didn't start thinking those things were true. Otherwise, I'd be prideful. So I'd quickly remind myself of why I'm actually terrible.

This is what I used to consider "humility."

I always thought this was okay—being really hard on myself, frequently criticizing my own actions, and agreeing with the voices in my head that said, "This is why you're not worth much."

I thought this was fine. After all, it does say in the Bible, "Don't think too highly of yourself than you ought," right? So berating myself is fine, because it means I'm safe from pride, right?

Wrong.

Actually, I realized when I was tearing myself down, I was being just as prideful as when I was being arrogant. You see, pride is actually the base problem that leads to both arrogance AND false humility.

Let me explain:

The Two Types of Pride 

#1. Arrogance:

Arrogance is straightforward. Arrogance is being consumed with thoughts of yourself. Arrogance is thinking too highly of yourself. When you have the base problem of pride, and you do something good, here's what happens:

• you do a good thing
• you start attributing that thing totally to yourself
• you start thinking way too highly of yourself 

Arrogance says, "I can do it on my own. I'm self-sustaining. I deserve more."


#2. False Humility:

False humility is the one we don't think about. It's the one that flies under the radar.

False humility is being consumed with thoughts of yourself, but these thoughts are all very low thoughts of yourself.

When you have the base problem of pride, and you do something bad, here's what happens:

• You screw up
• You wallow in self pity
• You beat yourself up over and over
• You constantly think about yourself negatively

False humility says, "I suck. I'm the worst. Everything about me is completely worthless."

The Common Thread between the Two

There's a common thread running through both of these:

They're both completely focused on us.

And "US" is not what we were made for. That's why it's so incredibly unsatisfying. We were made for more than that—we were made to focus outward.

That's the definition of true humility.

C.S. Lewis says, "Humility isn't thinking less of yourself... it's thinking of yourself less."

This quote completely blew my mind when I first heard it. Because I, like most others, would routinely tear myself down when I got a compliment—I thought it was the "Christian" thing to do. And I had no idea that my destructive self-critical thoughts were completely unhealthy.

Pride = Self, Humility = Others

The most important thing I've learned about pride is this:

When my focus goes from being outward to being inward, I'm being prideful.

That's the lens I look through when I look at pride now. "I'm so good" and "I'm so terrible" are both different forms of pride. 

I was completely floored the first time I realized this. But it all made sense, because they both end up making me the same amount of miserable.

How to Be Truly Humble:

Here are some new guidelines that have begun to cultivate true humility in my life:

• Stop thinking about yourself so much. When life is all about you, there's nowhere else to go but pride. It's either, "I'm so great" or "I'm so terrible." And neither are healthy.

• Make your life about God and others.  It's counterintuitive, I know, not worrying about yourself all the time. This is how we were made to work best. God wants our focus to be on Him and other people, not ourselves. 

• Stop attributing your successes and failures to yourself. Start seeing God's hand in both your wins and losses. That will keep you focused on Him, and not on you.

We were made for selfless living, says John Piper. He calls it "Christian Hedonism." It means finding your true joy and value in selflessness. And apparently, that's the way we were made to get real joy... Glorifying God instead. It's hard to do, but it's the way we will truly come alive.

And by the way—if you regularly beat yourself up...you owe yourself an apology. (Check AndreaLucado.com for a great post on apologizing to yourself.)

Lack of Community: A Sure-Fire Way to Crash and Burn in Your Spiritual Life

Photo by Joe & Jeanette Archie

One of the best ways to hamper your spiritual life is to do it all by yourself.

Often, when things get bad in our lives, community is the first thing we drop. We stop the intentional conversations with friends, we stop opening up in our Bible studies, and we don't tell anyone about the turmoil that rages inside of us.

 Because, somehow, we don't always put much stock into any of that stuff. 

"What's it gonna help for me to tell someone? That'll just make me feel like a wuss." Or, "They don't want to hear about my mess. I don't want them to know about it, either. I'd rather it just be a secret."

Let me tell you something you may not be noticing:

You're being attacked. Your community is being fought over. Someone is tugging at the rope. And if you don't tug back, it's going to get pulled right out of your hands.

The enemy attacks your ministry, your relationship with God, and your decision making ability all at the same time... simply by destroying your community.

"Community, huh? That sure does sound like a strange place to attack someone. Why is that?"

Let me answer that question by explaining a metaphor. In the Bible, Satan's attacks are sometimes described as "flaming arrows."

The Flaming Arrow Metaphor

Back in the olden days, armies would shoot flaming arrows into an unsuspecting enemy's camp. But the main use of this strategy wasn't to kill people... it was to cause complete havoc. It was to separate the camp.

The attackers knew that an army marching together was much more fearsome than a bunch of isolated soldiers, far from the instruction of their general. When the camp went up in flames, the attacking army had no trouble defeating their enemy, scattered and confused.

This is how the enemy attacks us. Fiery arrows of isolation keep us from experiencing community. When a person becomes isolated, a person becomes weak.

My Example of Flaming Arrows Stealing My Community

What does a flaming arrow from the enemy look like in real life?

Let me give you an example:

My flaming arrows land in my relationships. They drive me away from deep connection with dear friends. I'll get mad at a friend if they do something that frustrates me. But I won't tell him. I'll think, "I'll just deal with this myself." Because deep down, I'm too scared to confront the person.

But I can't deal with it myself. I just think I can. When I don't extinguish the fire the arrow started, that anger begins to grow inside me. I'll often be mad at a person for a long time after, and he won't even know he did anything wrong. 

And because of that anger, I hold back on talking about deep things. And it hurts both of us. It isolates me from my friend... which makes both of us more vulnerable to lies.

People start believing lies when they are alone. Lies about themselves, lies about other people, and lies about God’s identity. Community brings clarity, and clarity brings a healthy spiritual life.

What Are Your Flaming Arrows?

What do your arrows look like? If the arrows had names, what would they be? Are they things that your friends did that hurt your feelings? Because if they are, you'll have to pull them out before you can have your community back.

Are they tied to your shame? Maybe you're ashamed of something but you want to save face... so you think, "maybe I won't tell my friends about this." But then, you just have to deal with the voices of shame all by yourself.

Try to identify your own arrows. Any problem that keeps you from experiencing open community can be classified as a flaming arrow (and obviously, some things you won't share. But it's healthy to share about struggles).

 Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• What arrows do I normally notice?
• Where have they landed in my life? 
• What kinds of fires do they start? Arguments? Gossip?
• What friends or family have they driven me away from? 
• How can I reconcile these relationships and move back into that community?

Get a group you can discuss deep things with, if you haven’t already. Talk about your ministry and your life.

Don't be fooled. Community is not just hanging out with people. Community is intentional. It continues outside of bible study, and it's one of the sweetest things there is. And often times we don't pursue this higher standard because we don't know there really can be more.

Strive for deep relationships. Because isolation will mess you up.

 Proverbs 27:17 - "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 - "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

Galatians 6:2 - "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

Pay Attention to Your Idols, Because They'll Lead You Straight to God...

Image by EpSos .de

There's hidden information in your idols. Information about the way you were made.

What information, you ask?

The answer lies in their uncanny ability to capture your heart.

Idols have quickly become "public enemy #1" in church culture. If we like a certain TV show... we try to make sure it isn't an idol. If we're surfing Facebook a lot... we have to make sure it doesn't become an idol. If we care too much about a story or a team or a game... we worry that it's becoming an idol.

How does an idol control us so easily?

There's got to be a special something that gives it the special, "heart-capturing" power. But what is it? Why does a season of Friday Night Lights on Netflix capture my heart instead of English class? Why doesn't English class capture my heart?

In fact, why was I always thinking about Friday Night Lights while I was in English class?

What's the X factor that makes you want your idols?

Don't you want to know?

My Specific Idol

I'm going to be completely honest -- I was obsessed with video games when I was younger. Story games, to be exact -- the kind of games that call you into an adventure intertwined with a love story, and invite you in to be a part of it yourself.

Have you ever been pulled into a story? I'm sure you have. But have you ever been so pulled in that you wanted more than anything to just be a part of that story instead of your own?

Because that's how I felt when I was younger. Video games, movies, books... anything with an immersive world, I was hooked.

I was looking for something.

Those were my idols. I had a long time where I would ban myself from the stories, because I could tell I loved them more than God. They scared me. They were powerful, and I just couldn't figure out how they had so much power over me.

I longed to live in other stories. I hated my own story. I idolized other stories by escaping into them. And as hard as I tried, I couldn't get the idols to go away. I needed them.

But one day... it finally clicked.

The Reason Idols Are So Tempting

After some enlightening conversations with friends, I realized something: If I was made for God, and these things are so attractive to me -- why do I like THEM instead of God? And the answer, like a typhoon, came rushing in:

Because they look like something about God that I'm made to love.

They look like God. 

Think about it. What do you love about your idol? Dig deep. Think about the deep need it fills. If you're anything like me, your idol is filling a place that gives you a sense of value, beauty, or love.

Sound familiar?

The stories that I long to be a part of all share similar qualities:

• They create a grand new world for me to explore
• They give me a way to partake in a struggle bigger than me
• They offer a heroic purpose, a love interest, and a worthy adversary
• They promise a life of meaning

 God offers me every single one of these things.

Treat Your Idols Like a Scientist

If you were a researcher studying the ebola virus, how would you go about finding a cure? You would study it. What does it look like? When does it activate? How does it attack the body? When scientists begin to learn these things, they begin to develop a way to fight it.

Treat your idols the same way. Study them. Figure out what deep thing you're trying to get from them. Find out when they flare up and what they make you want. And then, figure out how God was supposed to be giving you that same thing. It's not far off, I can assure you. If it was, your idol wouldn't be an idol.

An idol is only an idol because it closely resembles a quality of God you were made for.

Don't settle for the idol version of your happiness. It actually kills you, you know. Instead, fight to understand how that idol reveals your unique original design, your unique favorite parts about God, and how you were created to connect with Him.

Here's how I'm uniquely designed: I LOVE adventure. And that's why my idols are often epic stories -- because I begin to doubt that God could ever give me a better story than the one I'm idolizing. That's kind of how it works.

I have a friend who LOVES love. She idolizes relationships with guys, because she doubts God could ever fill her deep spiritual needs better than a guy could.

Idols feed on the lie that God can't fill that part of us.

Study your God-substitutes. What do they mean about the unique cocktail of things you're craving from God? Because your idols are a CLUE to the parts of God you're searching for. Those are probably the parts of God that He most wants you to see.

You can see God in everything you love. And at its very core, everything you love is everything you were made for.

What are your idols pointing to, deep down?



Psalm 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

John 10:10 - "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Is Christianity Just About All The Stuff I Can't Do?

Photo by Marc Falardeau

I was completely stumped.

My good friend Jeff and I were hunched over, sitting on a wooden bench in the dark at 3:30 AM, looking at the ground.

"Why don't you want to follow Jesus?" I asked.

"You want to know why? Because Christianity just looks like it's all about what I can't do. You say it's life-giving, but it just looks like a bunch of can't's to me."

I had no idea what to say to that. So I said nothing.

The seconds of silence felt like minutes. I ran through every verse I'd ever read, searching frantically for any kind of answer. But none came. I prayed the shortest prayer you can pray, "Help!" But still, no answer. I was stumped.

Was Christianity all about what we couldn't do? Why didn't I know the answer?

I never responded to Jeff. Because I didn't have any words.

His question was essentially this: Do God's commandments hinder my ability to experience true life? Think about things like doing drugs, having sex with tons of people, forcing other people into doing what you want, gossiping all the time, and all those other things that feel good but are against "God's law." Why should I have to keep from doing those things, if they feel so good? Why does that look like freedom, while God's way looks like prison?

It was a dang good question. And it burned inside me for a long time.

The Answer to the Question

If you've ever wrestled with a question like this, you'll know you can't get the question out of your head until you find the answer for yourself. And that's exactly what happened.

One day, in the kitchen of our legendary college house, the Sheila House, I was talking to another friend of mine who had just moved back to Knoxville from Alabama. He told me a peculiar story about his old party animal roommate.

"My roommate was super into all sorts of wild partying. Every night, he'd come home with a different girl. Eventually, he would bring back girls he wasn't even attracted to, just to have someone he could sleep with.

"Eventually, he started getting to the point where he had to come home with a girl or he'd feel terrible about himself. It was like he needed it. He was miserable without it."

"Kinda seems like he was imprisoned by it," I chimed in.

"Yeah, I guess he was." My friend looked down, thinking deeply.

And then it hit me.

This guy was imprisoned by the same thing Jeff thought would lead to freedom.

We've got it backwards. Somehow, a life of indulgence looks like freedom to most of us. And God's law looks like it's restricting us. But it's actually the other way around.

God's commandments might look and even feel like bondage sometimes, but they're actually guidelines to the most free life possible. They're designed to keep sin from imprisoning us, just like it had done to my Alabama friend's roommate. That guy was imprisoned by sin. In this case, sex.

I want to share two pictures with you, pictures that help me understand this idea:

The "Bear Trap" Image and the "Mouse" Image

Imagine you're traveling through a dense, quiet forest. Leaves cover the ground and crackle under your feet. Now imagine a person coming up to you and saying, "Hey, there are bear traps all over this forest. And I have a map of exactly where they are. Want it?"

This is what the Bible is. It's a guide past all the bear traps. Yeah, if you really want to, you can go charging in without looking. But you're gonna get stuck in a bear trap. And then you're gonna have a swell time trying to get free.

Now, imagine you're a mouse. I know it's weird. Just do it.

Imagine you see lots of cheese in front of you. Some of it is rat poison. But it all looks like cheese. It all smells like cheese. It's pretty hard to tell what's healthy and what's poisonous.

You could indulge in the rat poison. You probably wouldn't be able to tell, either. It would probably taste great. That is, until it slowly started to kill you.

This is what sin is. It feels great in the moment, but eventually it steals your freedom and your life.

The Bottom Line

I can see it clearly now. We were made to live most freely under God's guidelines. Indulging in Sin feels like freedom, but it leads to captivity. God's way may feel like captivity, but it leads to real freedom. 

We don't always understand how it can lead to freedom, especially when it feels so restrictive. But God made us with a certain recipe. And He knows exactly the recipe He used to make us. We were made to need things like sacrificial love, community, a part in something bigger...

Sin acts like it's going to give us these things. But it never actually will.

So if you actually want them... look for them from the One who actually knows how to fulfill your desires. 

Psalm 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

James 1:25 - "But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it--not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it--they will be blessed in what they do."

John 8:36 - "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

How God Uses Metaphors To Catch Our Attention

Photo by Carl Revell

As a person who enjoys writing... I love a good metaphor.

Why? Well, there's just something about a metaphor. It's so... clarifying.

Humans use them to understand things. It's just a fact. We use simple things to make sense of complicated things.

Take a look at some of the things we've simplified with metaphors:

• Time as a stream - "The flow of time"

• The brain as a computer - "memory," "processing information"

• The "heart" as a room - "She'll always have a place in my heart..." (and the "heart" is a metaphor in itself)

We actually use a lot more metaphors than we realize. Pay attention this week... you'll catch yourself using them all the time.

Why does this matter? Well, because if we understand how our minds use metaphor to understand complicated things, we can understand how God is trying to teach us. 

God takes complicated stuff and makes it simpler to us through metaphors.

Have you noticed how many metaphors God uses when he's teaching people? They're all over the place. Seriously. There's a ton of them.

Take a look at some of these example metaphors:

1. Jesus being the "Vine" and us being the "Branches," showing us how we need to stay connected with him. (John 15)

2. The last supper being the "Body" and "Blood" of Christ, which gives us at least SOME comprehension of what Jesus did for us on the cross. (Matthew 26:26-28)

3. Putting on the "Armor" of God, a picture of how truth, righteousness, faith, salvation, the gospel, and the Spirit keep us from being completely hacked up by all the lies and pain and evil in this world. (Ephesians 6:13-18)


Crazy, right? If you read the Bible, you'll see a ton of analogies like this. And what you'll notice is that God uses them because they stick in our brain. As Brian Clark of Copyblogger says, "Metaphors Ignite Understanding."

As it turns out, we were made to learn quickest via metaphors.

The Don Miller email example:

I got an email from Don Miller the other day. He's selling his online course, Creating Your Life Plan. I think it's on sale right now or something. Anyhow, when I opened the email, all it said was:

Your guide out of the fog.

When I saw that, I instantly knew what it meant. The fog of my life. How peculiar that I "just knew." How did I know?

Without the word fog, it might have taken a paragraph -- or even a whole page of text -- before I understood what he was selling. But all it took was that one sentence. Because that one sentence painted a picture. It drew on something I already knew about to explain something I didn't know.

God teaches us like this.

God knows what he's doing. That's why He does it this way. Because a metaphor is a huge brain shortcut. It helps your mind get where it needs to faster. AND, sometimes it even lets you understand something better than you would normally.

People love pictures. Because we just get them. We don't need anything else. We don't need the technical knowledge. And best of all, we can see pictures. Our minds gravitate to them like magnets. (See that picture?)

God shows us who He is by comparing Himself with things we already understand. Think about all the parables Jesus tells. Think about every single time Jesus talks about the "Kingdom of Heaven." It's like a mustard seed. It's like a man finding a treasure in a field. It's like a person who buys a pearl.

Metaphors are wildly helpful in our search for understanding.

They give us a window to the truth. They allow us to communicate with God better. And they make hard things easier to comprehend.

Be on the lookout for God's metaphors this week. He might be using them to get your attention.

P.S. Don't rule out your dreams, either...

The ONE Thing Most Likely Standing Between You And Where You Want To Be

Photo by Damien Boilley

What's the one thing standing between you and progress?

I'm talking about progress in relationship with God, progress in life, progress in your career even.

What's stopping you from growing?

I think I know what it is. I think I know because it's the most common thing that keeps people from growing in anything. I'd be willing to bet quite a bit on it, actually. It's a pretty high probability that this is it.

I'll give you a few hints:

• It's the thing that makes you feel unworthy to be used by God.
• It's the thing that makes you quit your passion totally by yourself.
• It's the thing that causes you to give up on your hopes and dreams.
• It's the thing that keeps you held captive in a bad relationship or a bad situation.

Give up? Then let me tell you. This might just be the ONLY thing standing between you and what you want to be:

Truth.

A lack of knowing the truth, to be exact.

The lies we believe about ourselves, the world, and God... those lies are the things that rob us of living our most free lives. Our beliefs either free us, or keep us chained to the wall. And do you know what that means?

The thing standing between us and freedom is just... us!

We Suffer From a Lack of Truth.

Honestly, we COULD live differently, if we wanted... we just don't have the right information. If I was a betting man (and I am), I would bet that having the wrong information is the sole reason why:

1. You aren't getting closer to God....

2. You aren't living your life to your full potential....

3. You aren't taking that leap into following your dream....

Let Me Explain With Some Examples of Missing Truth:

Example #1: If you see God as a father who's always either mad at you or disappointed with you, you're going to live like you're constantly trying to avoid His wrath. "Is this good enough for you, today?" "Am I good today?" (I'm well acquainted with this one.)

The missing truth: This kind of belief basically causes us to volunteer to live a condemned life. But for Christians, there's no more condemnation. Believing that truth frees you to stop "playing catch-up" and actually start living your true story with real freedom.



Example #3: If you're a girl being treated like crap by a guy who doesn't appreciate you (or vice versa), you'll start to think, "Well, this is what I deserve. This is all I can get, because I'm just not very valuable." (i.e. you see yourself as someone of little value)

The missing truth: If you believe you're not valuable, you'll settle for a lifestyle of a not valuable person. But if you do that... you're missing out. Because God says, "You have ravished my heart, my sister, my bride -- you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes..." (Song of Solomon 4:9) He says we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14). This truth gives you the freedom to step out into your true value.



Example #2: If you think God pretty much just doesn't care you exist, you're not going to be very free to live the story he carefully crafted for you. You're not going to be motivated to live a powerful story. (I'm well acquainted with this one, too. I lived this false narrative for almost 20 years.)

The missing truth: Your story is not the backup plan. You are not the alternate, just in case someone more important goes down in front of you. You have a valuable part in the unfolding of things, should you choose to accept it. And you have a Guide... One who wants to show you the road to your adventure. With this truth, will you choose to step into that story? Because you're free to.



Example #4: Think about the thing you wish you could do. Writing, guitar, basketball, whatever. The thing you love, but you just don't feel like you're very good. "I can't write very well. So I guess I should just give it up."

The missing truth: Your "talents" are like a garden. Whatever you plant and cultivate, that's what comes out during harvest time. If you've read The Talent Code, you'll know that talent isn't born, it's grown. You need to learn the skills and practice, then YOU can write well. Go read 5 books about writing, and I promise you'll be a better writer. Then write once a week for a few years... and I PROMISE you'll be a much better writer. That info sets you free to pursue your dreams.

So... What Do You Do About It?

If having the truth leads to everything you want, then there's only one thing TO do...

Go. Get. The. Right. Information.

Get the truth.

The truth sets you free. Free to chase your dreams, free to grow and flourish, free to explore and adventure without fear. It ALWAYS does. It breaks you out of the constraints you've been fooled into putting on yourself. 

We've got to learn how to get the information we need to succeed. In life, in careers, in relationship with God. Lies keep us from being who we are. If we had the information... we could be everything we long to be that we were meant to be.

If you don't feel free, chances are you're not believing the truth.

Where are you being held captive? What lies might be keeping you there? What truth might there be that will free you?



John 8:32 - "And then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

John 8:36 - "So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

People Would Rather Shock Themselves Than Sit Alone With Their Thoughts... Why?

Photo by Frédéric BISSON

Does the thought of alone time make you uncomfortable?

Well, apparently you're not alone.

In a recent study documented on the Psyblog, people were given a choice to either sit still and do nothing but think... or shock themselves.

Guess which one most of them chose?

According to the study, people were put in a room for anywhere between 6 and 15 minutes (Wilson et al., 2014).

They were told to sit and just think, and that there was a button they could push that would give them a mild shock.

And do you know what?

At least half the people shocked themselves.

And the funny thing is, they had just been asked whether they would pay money not to be shocked. And many of the people who shocked themselves had said they would.

“What is striking is that simply being alone with their own thoughts for 15 minutes was apparently so aversive that it drove many participants to self-administer an electric shock that they had earlier said they would pay to avoid.” (Wilson et al., 2014). 

And apparently, this wasn't just your classic "teen obsessed with cell phone."

Older people tested the same way. The study included ages 18 to 77, from a wide range of backgrounds.

SO... what does this mean?

I've got two initial ideas. Either:

1. The people got bored. Then they got genuinely curious to see whether there was actually a shock, and how much it hurt. Then they probably figured, surely those psychologists wouldn't let me really hurt myself... and, out of boredom, gave themselves a little volt... I could see this being a reason for a few. But one of the participants shocked himself 190 times.

OR

2. People are growing increasingly afraid of who we've become. What do you do when you're not happy with your life? You try not to think about it. What do you do when you feel like you missed your life's purpose? You try not to think about it. We're a distracted bunch of people, these days. And sometimes our distractions are the only thing standing between us and the inner turmoil of our screaming thoughts.

Maybe there are other options. But I've noticed #2 is frighteningly common.

So the rest of this blog is about the 2nd one.

What do you see when you look back at your life?

I think we're more afraid of our thoughts than we know. We don't want to listen to the voices that sound unhappy with where we are in life, the ones that scream to us early in the morning before we can shut them up with our to do list, and late at night when our minds are too tired not to wander.

Why?

We're afraid of being wrong. We're afraid we're going to hear something in our heads that makes us think "you've made large time investments in the wrong areas."

But I want you to listen a little longer. Listen longer than you think you should.

Because there's more to the story. There's a light at the end of the tunnel.

I ran from my story for a long time. As a kid, I longed to be in a different one. I didn't see any worth in my story. Go to middle school, quietly do my work, go home. Have a crush on a girl who doesn't notice me. Watch her date someone else instead. Be unhappy with how life is. Wash, rinse, repeat.

And so I escaped into distraction.

Distraction with other stories, distraction with busyness, distraction with friends.

But it wasn't enough to get away from the feeling that I may never get to live in the story I really wanted.

But then I started figuring out who God really was. I started seeing that my actual desires matched his actual personality. And then, during college, I learned something that changed my life:

My scariest thoughts are the compass that will lead me straight to the life I've always wanted.

What if God's plan is that you live the story you've always longed to live?

I've got a new plan: Don't run from your thoughts. Stand up to them. Let them tell you the news, that you're running towards something you don't even want. And then, let them redirect you.

There's a way to shift course. It doesn't matter how "far gone" you are. 

And your desire for it will keep growing. You won't ever be able to completely shut it up.

Don't tune your own deep thoughts out. They may be trying to lead you to freedom.


(If you were moved by this post at all, I would love for you to either send me an email on the right side of the page, or comment down below, and tell me what it was. And tell me what's hard about being yourself. I intently read and respond to every email. Seriously.)

Why Your Childhood Dreams Are So Important to Understanding Yourself

Photo by Shannon Moore

I think we're missing out on something we had right as kids.

Do you remember all those grand dreams you used to have? Do you remember the way it made you feel to pretend they were true? 

It was one of the most incredible feelings in the world. It felt like you had somehow escaped into the world you belonged in, all along.

I don't care how stupid the dreams were. 

I don't care if they were dreams of knights and princesses. Or wizards and magic. Or Jedi and Star Wars (yes, you leave the "s" off Jedi). Or even Dragonball Z and all that anime stuff. 

I know you wished you could be something else. Something greater. Something magical.

We all did.

And somewhere along the way, we lost sight of it... what we really wanted.

The Lost Dreams of Your Childhood

If you've seen the movie Mr. Deeds, you might remember the part at the end in the stockholder's meeting. Adam Sandler asks a guy what he used to want to be when he grew up. "Veterinarian" was the answer. Why?

"I wanted to help sick animals," the guy said.

"And what do you do now?"

"I own a slaughter house."

A slaughter house. There's not much farther away you can get from a veterinarian.

I'm not going to lie, that part is so funny it almost makes me pee my pants. But it's got an eerie effect on me now... Maybe because I know how easy it is for this to happen to people. To happen to me.

Have you noticed that many old people are crabby and miserable, while most kids are carefree and blissful? Why do you think that is?

Could it be that many adults have lost the freedom that was so apparent to them as kids? That they've allowed bondage to overtake them?

We call it "growing up." We call it "getting realistic."

I call it loss.

And I don't think it has to do with jobs. I think it's something spiritual. I think we settle for something in a spiritual way -- a worse existence than God wants for us.

Maybe What Was Alive in Us as Kids Isn't Dead.

Think about what you wanted to be. What does it mean about you? What did you really want?

• Did you want to be an astronaut? Maybe you wanted to explore the unknown. Maybe you wanted to go on an adventure. Maybe you wanted to experience something thrilling, something you've never experienced before.

• Did you want to be a princess? Maybe you wanted to be desired. Maybe you wanted to know for sure you were truly valuable. Maybe you wanted to be an important part of things...

• Did you want to be a firefighter? Maybe you wanted to be a hero to an entire nation.  Maybe you wanted to earn the love and respect of everyone. Maybe you wanted to preserve the beauty in this world from the things that are trying to destroy it. 

• Did you want to be a knight in shining armor? Maybe you wanted to defeat an enemy for someone you love. Maybe you wanted to save a pretty girl. Maybe you wanted her to love you in return.

Could it be that you're still longing for these things?

I think it's a mistake to give up on them.

Because at its core, none of it is bad. This is the stuff we were made for.

And I'm not talking about the occupations. Obviously, nobody's going to pay you to be a knight in shining armor (unless you want a job as a college mascot, of course... and if you do, far be it from me to tell you how to live your life). I'm talking about what's under the occupations. 

Ever Wonder Why You Don't Connect With God? This Might Be Why. 

If you're too afraid to allow yourself to long, then there's nothing for him to fill.

What if God wants to connect with you in those deep places you used to dream about but gave up on?

What if you let yourself dream that again for a bit, and followed the rabbit hole to see where it took you?

I'm not saying quit your job to be an astronaut. I mean look for what your "True Self" was longing for, that was surfacing as wanting to be an astronaut.

Once you've figured out the core of your longing, you've figured out something you want from God.

And guess what -- I think he wants to give it to you.

Maybe not in the way you're thinking... but if He put a deep longing in you, He meant to fill it.

Somehow, life always seems to take us to the opposite end of the spectrum from God's Original Design for us. Barely anyone ever understands what they were truly made for. And I think it's because we don't understand our most raw desires as humans.

I think God is waiting to fill those places in us.

Honestly, I don't know exactly what this looks like for everyone. I just know my truest dreams have been a reflection of the things my deepest self has been intensely longing for all along. And maybe knowing more about that... would get us closer to connecting with God in the passionate way we've always longed to.

What might your childhood dreams be saying about what you really want?

The Secret Ingredient for Growing in Relationship With God and Getting Better at Stuff

Photo by Susan L.

"I'll never get better at this. I'm just bad at it."

Ever thought it? I sure have. What about this one:

"I wish I could just know God better."

That one hits home for me.

I've done a lot of wishing I could know God better. I've done a lot of thinking I'd never make any progress, either (especially in high school).

But since I've moved to Nashville, God's taught me something really cool through all my writing practice. He's taught me the secret ingredient to making progress -- in relationship with Him AND in getting better at stuff. So much value... rolled up into one tiny ingredient.

Want to know what it is?

Of course you do. Well then, let me tell you:

Just show up.

All you have to do is show up. And you'll be ahead of 90% of the rest of the world.  Allow me to explain.

I've noticed this pattern since I've been in Nashville. I realized nobody, myself included, wants to take the time to get good at stuff. I figured I should just be born a good writer, or I'm not gonna be a good writer.

But then, I started scheduling chunks of time to just write, not caring whether it was good or bad. Most of the time, it was complete crap (sorry, you can't see). But I realized that whenever I was doing it consistently, I was waking up better at it the next day. It somehow made me better... because I was actually writing. And when you're actually writing, you're actually getting better. And, sure enough, the next week I was writing slightly better stuff.

Woody Allen says, "80% of life is showing up."

I think he's onto something.

Why is showing up so important?

1. It gives us the time we need to grow.

When you do something once every 2 months, you're probably going to stay bad at it. And then, you're going to say, "Why am I not getting better? I must just not be able to get better. I must just be stuck like this..." But that's the problem you have when you aren't doing it frequently enough. You've gotta trust the process, whether it's a skill or a relationship.

 We need time with God to grow our relationship with Him. Sit down for 15 minutes per day for a month and listen to him, and see what happens. Watch yourself get annoyed the first few times when you can't hear him, keep showing up, and then get watch yourself get better and better.

2. It takes a long time to grow. 

Doing something over a long period of time is what changes us. When you work out consistently for months at a time, that's when your physical body dramatically changes. When you spend time with God consistently for months at a time, that's when your heart dramatically changes. It takes longer than a few weeks to actually change.

3. It often doesn't depend on us to grow.

This is especially true when it comes to growing spiritually. We don't have to change ourselves. God changes us. And it doesn't take anything special -- it just takes time. And that's true in any relationship. If you want to grow in a relationship, you just have to invest time. You don't have to do something really hard. You just have to show up.

Also, this is how "muscle memory" works (the thing that your body needs to play guitar).You just do the same thing over and over, until your fingers do the thing without you even having to think about it. It doesn't take special talent to do the same thing over and over.

4. When you show up, you start seeing where you need to improve. 

Yes, "perfect practice" is the only way to get "perfect." BUT, perfect practice is just being conscious of what you're messing up on as you're practicing. Show up, and then you can figure out the rest while you're there.

This works in a relationship with God, too. Showing up is wayyy more important than getting yourself right beforehand. That's why God says, "Come as you are." Because if you show up, you can work out the kinks when you get there. And besides... God cares a lot more about YOU than he cares about the kinks.

So, if it's not that hard to show up... then why's it so hard to get myself to do it?

The process of doing it isn't what's hard. It's getting ourselves started that's the hard part. It's not hard, but it is. Why?

We're afraid of imperfection. We don't want it to be messy. We want to have our stuff together. In writing, music, God, everything. Things have to be right the first time around. We have to write a best selling novel with the first story we write. We have to be "living better" before we show our face around God.

But imperfection is part of showing up. We have to write poorly before we can write well. We have to have awkward times with God, where we don't know what to talk about, where we say, "uhh... um... I like your... clouds.. today...." before we get comfortable enough to go deeper. But that's the beauty of it. It's supposed to be messy at first. Showing up doesn't require perfection. It really just requires... showing up.

So, the moral of the story:

If you want to get better at writing: write.
If you want to get better at Chinese: speak Chinese.
If you want to get closer to God: show up.

See the pattern?

Whatever your goal is -- writing, photography, guitar, a deeper relationship with God -- try making it a priority to just show up every day. You'll most likely find that your results get WAYYYY better.