Why Failure Makes Us Better

Photo by Chris Potter

Failure.

One of the most hated words in the english language, right up there with the other "F" word and just above the words "seepage" and "moist."

Failure is never fun. It never feels good and often hurts quite bad. The reason why it hurts so much is simple: It suggests you weren't good enough.

But in my time in Nashville, I'm learning something new about failure. It makes me better.

To Try is to Risk

Here's the deal. It's scary to put yourself out there. It's really just scary to try at anything.
It's hard for me to push the publish button on every single blog post. Every musician friend I know has told me it's really hard to lay your best effort out there for everyone to criticize. It's hard to talk to some random scary looking guy next to you on the train about Jesus without fumbling over your words. We are deathly afraid of screwing up. And it paralyzes us.

To put forth effort is to risk failure. There's no getting around it.

I've made writing mistakes before. I've made mistakes as a youth leader before. I've accidentally told people the wrong stuff in bible study before. It's really hard to let those things go -- they haunt you, if you let them.

But here's the thing -- I don't think our failures ruin our lives, or God's plan, as much as we think they do. In fact, they seem to strengthen us in the end.

A New Way to See Failure

Every time I've screwed up in a friendship, I've learned how to be a better friend afterward.

Every time I've failed in my ministry, I've become a better leader afterward.

Every time I've messed up playing guitar, I've become a better guitar player afterward.

As humans, one of our main methods of learning is trial and error. But if we don't give ourselves grace when we make errors, how are we going to learn?

I struggled a lot with self condemnation earlier this year, until I felt like God was saying to me, "I haven't condemned you, why are you condemning yourself?" Those words stuck with me. Does a dad get disappointed with his son when he falls while learning to walk? Of course not. God gives us the security we need to venture out and try things, without carrying that enormous weight on our shoulders.

"Intelligent Fast Failure"

Jack Matson, a Penn State creativity professor, created this idea called "Intelligent Fast Failure" that I think is fascinating. It's the idea that the more times you can quickly fail at something while minimizing your losses, the better you will get at your skill.

So, in other words, the more times I mess up in my writing in a month and correct it, the better I will be at writing after that month is over.

So failure can make us better?

Thomas J. Watson seems to think so. He once said, "The fastest way to succeed is to double your rate of failure."

Additionally, I read an awesome article by James Clear called "Treat Failure Like A Scientist," which talks about the same thing. You can check that out here if you want.

The Main Idea

When we fail, the results aren't going to be all bad. It doesn't need to be a deep strike on our identities. It means we're continuing to change and improve, which is what we're designed to do.

God's really big. He can make up for our big failures. In fact, in Romans it says "his strength is made perfect in our weakness." What a refreshing thought! God's strength fires on all cylinders in situations where we are weak.

So let's allow ourselves to receive the grace we've been given when we mess up, and allow it to change us for the better. Failure is an opportunity to grow!

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 - But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.