Is Christianity Just About All The Stuff I Can't Do?

Photo by Marc Falardeau

I was completely stumped.

My good friend Jeff and I were hunched over, sitting on a wooden bench in the dark at 3:30 AM, looking at the ground.

"Why don't you want to follow Jesus?" I asked.

"You want to know why? Because Christianity just looks like it's all about what I can't do. You say it's life-giving, but it just looks like a bunch of can't's to me."

I had no idea what to say to that. So I said nothing.

The seconds of silence felt like minutes. I ran through every verse I'd ever read, searching frantically for any kind of answer. But none came. I prayed the shortest prayer you can pray, "Help!" But still, no answer. I was stumped.

Was Christianity all about what we couldn't do? Why didn't I know the answer?

I never responded to Jeff. Because I didn't have any words.

His question was essentially this: Do God's commandments hinder my ability to experience true life? Think about things like doing drugs, having sex with tons of people, forcing other people into doing what you want, gossiping all the time, and all those other things that feel good but are against "God's law." Why should I have to keep from doing those things, if they feel so good? Why does that look like freedom, while God's way looks like prison?

It was a dang good question. And it burned inside me for a long time.

The Answer to the Question

If you've ever wrestled with a question like this, you'll know you can't get the question out of your head until you find the answer for yourself. And that's exactly what happened.

One day, in the kitchen of our legendary college house, the Sheila House, I was talking to another friend of mine who had just moved back to Knoxville from Alabama. He told me a peculiar story about his old party animal roommate.

"My roommate was super into all sorts of wild partying. Every night, he'd come home with a different girl. Eventually, he would bring back girls he wasn't even attracted to, just to have someone he could sleep with.

"Eventually, he started getting to the point where he had to come home with a girl or he'd feel terrible about himself. It was like he needed it. He was miserable without it."

"Kinda seems like he was imprisoned by it," I chimed in.

"Yeah, I guess he was." My friend looked down, thinking deeply.

And then it hit me.

This guy was imprisoned by the same thing Jeff thought would lead to freedom.

We've got it backwards. Somehow, a life of indulgence looks like freedom to most of us. And God's law looks like it's restricting us. But it's actually the other way around.

God's commandments might look and even feel like bondage sometimes, but they're actually guidelines to the most free life possible. They're designed to keep sin from imprisoning us, just like it had done to my Alabama friend's roommate. That guy was imprisoned by sin. In this case, sex.

I want to share two pictures with you, pictures that help me understand this idea:

The "Bear Trap" Image and the "Mouse" Image

Imagine you're traveling through a dense, quiet forest. Leaves cover the ground and crackle under your feet. Now imagine a person coming up to you and saying, "Hey, there are bear traps all over this forest. And I have a map of exactly where they are. Want it?"

This is what the Bible is. It's a guide past all the bear traps. Yeah, if you really want to, you can go charging in without looking. But you're gonna get stuck in a bear trap. And then you're gonna have a swell time trying to get free.

Now, imagine you're a mouse. I know it's weird. Just do it.

Imagine you see lots of cheese in front of you. Some of it is rat poison. But it all looks like cheese. It all smells like cheese. It's pretty hard to tell what's healthy and what's poisonous.

You could indulge in the rat poison. You probably wouldn't be able to tell, either. It would probably taste great. That is, until it slowly started to kill you.

This is what sin is. It feels great in the moment, but eventually it steals your freedom and your life.

The Bottom Line

I can see it clearly now. We were made to live most freely under God's guidelines. Indulging in Sin feels like freedom, but it leads to captivity. God's way may feel like captivity, but it leads to real freedom. 

We don't always understand how it can lead to freedom, especially when it feels so restrictive. But God made us with a certain recipe. And He knows exactly the recipe He used to make us. We were made to need things like sacrificial love, community, a part in something bigger...

Sin acts like it's going to give us these things. But it never actually will.

So if you actually want them... look for them from the One who actually knows how to fulfill your desires. 

Psalm 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

James 1:25 - "But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it--not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it--they will be blessed in what they do."

John 8:36 - "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

How God Uses Metaphors To Catch Our Attention

Photo by Carl Revell

As a person who enjoys writing... I love a good metaphor.

Why? Well, there's just something about a metaphor. It's so... clarifying.

Humans use them to understand things. It's just a fact. We use simple things to make sense of complicated things.

Take a look at some of the things we've simplified with metaphors:

• Time as a stream - "The flow of time"

• The brain as a computer - "memory," "processing information"

• The "heart" as a room - "She'll always have a place in my heart..." (and the "heart" is a metaphor in itself)

We actually use a lot more metaphors than we realize. Pay attention this week... you'll catch yourself using them all the time.

Why does this matter? Well, because if we understand how our minds use metaphor to understand complicated things, we can understand how God is trying to teach us. 

God takes complicated stuff and makes it simpler to us through metaphors.

Have you noticed how many metaphors God uses when he's teaching people? They're all over the place. Seriously. There's a ton of them.

Take a look at some of these example metaphors:

1. Jesus being the "Vine" and us being the "Branches," showing us how we need to stay connected with him. (John 15)

2. The last supper being the "Body" and "Blood" of Christ, which gives us at least SOME comprehension of what Jesus did for us on the cross. (Matthew 26:26-28)

3. Putting on the "Armor" of God, a picture of how truth, righteousness, faith, salvation, the gospel, and the Spirit keep us from being completely hacked up by all the lies and pain and evil in this world. (Ephesians 6:13-18)


Crazy, right? If you read the Bible, you'll see a ton of analogies like this. And what you'll notice is that God uses them because they stick in our brain. As Brian Clark of Copyblogger says, "Metaphors Ignite Understanding."

As it turns out, we were made to learn quickest via metaphors.

The Don Miller email example:

I got an email from Don Miller the other day. He's selling his online course, Creating Your Life Plan. I think it's on sale right now or something. Anyhow, when I opened the email, all it said was:

Your guide out of the fog.

When I saw that, I instantly knew what it meant. The fog of my life. How peculiar that I "just knew." How did I know?

Without the word fog, it might have taken a paragraph -- or even a whole page of text -- before I understood what he was selling. But all it took was that one sentence. Because that one sentence painted a picture. It drew on something I already knew about to explain something I didn't know.

God teaches us like this.

God knows what he's doing. That's why He does it this way. Because a metaphor is a huge brain shortcut. It helps your mind get where it needs to faster. AND, sometimes it even lets you understand something better than you would normally.

People love pictures. Because we just get them. We don't need anything else. We don't need the technical knowledge. And best of all, we can see pictures. Our minds gravitate to them like magnets. (See that picture?)

God shows us who He is by comparing Himself with things we already understand. Think about all the parables Jesus tells. Think about every single time Jesus talks about the "Kingdom of Heaven." It's like a mustard seed. It's like a man finding a treasure in a field. It's like a person who buys a pearl.

Metaphors are wildly helpful in our search for understanding.

They give us a window to the truth. They allow us to communicate with God better. And they make hard things easier to comprehend.

Be on the lookout for God's metaphors this week. He might be using them to get your attention.

P.S. Don't rule out your dreams, either...

The ONE Thing Most Likely Standing Between You And Where You Want To Be

Photo by Damien Boilley

What's the one thing standing between you and progress?

I'm talking about progress in relationship with God, progress in life, progress in your career even.

What's stopping you from growing?

I think I know what it is. I think I know because it's the most common thing that keeps people from growing in anything. I'd be willing to bet quite a bit on it, actually. It's a pretty high probability that this is it.

I'll give you a few hints:

• It's the thing that makes you feel unworthy to be used by God.
• It's the thing that makes you quit your passion totally by yourself.
• It's the thing that causes you to give up on your hopes and dreams.
• It's the thing that keeps you held captive in a bad relationship or a bad situation.

Give up? Then let me tell you. This might just be the ONLY thing standing between you and what you want to be:

Truth.

A lack of knowing the truth, to be exact.

The lies we believe about ourselves, the world, and God... those lies are the things that rob us of living our most free lives. Our beliefs either free us, or keep us chained to the wall. And do you know what that means?

The thing standing between us and freedom is just... us!

We Suffer From a Lack of Truth.

Honestly, we COULD live differently, if we wanted... we just don't have the right information. If I was a betting man (and I am), I would bet that having the wrong information is the sole reason why:

1. You aren't getting closer to God....

2. You aren't living your life to your full potential....

3. You aren't taking that leap into following your dream....

Let Me Explain With Some Examples of Missing Truth:

Example #1: If you see God as a father who's always either mad at you or disappointed with you, you're going to live like you're constantly trying to avoid His wrath. "Is this good enough for you, today?" "Am I good today?" (I'm well acquainted with this one.)

The missing truth: This kind of belief basically causes us to volunteer to live a condemned life. But for Christians, there's no more condemnation. Believing that truth frees you to stop "playing catch-up" and actually start living your true story with real freedom.



Example #3: If you're a girl being treated like crap by a guy who doesn't appreciate you (or vice versa), you'll start to think, "Well, this is what I deserve. This is all I can get, because I'm just not very valuable." (i.e. you see yourself as someone of little value)

The missing truth: If you believe you're not valuable, you'll settle for a lifestyle of a not valuable person. But if you do that... you're missing out. Because God says, "You have ravished my heart, my sister, my bride -- you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes..." (Song of Solomon 4:9) He says we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14). This truth gives you the freedom to step out into your true value.



Example #2: If you think God pretty much just doesn't care you exist, you're not going to be very free to live the story he carefully crafted for you. You're not going to be motivated to live a powerful story. (I'm well acquainted with this one, too. I lived this false narrative for almost 20 years.)

The missing truth: Your story is not the backup plan. You are not the alternate, just in case someone more important goes down in front of you. You have a valuable part in the unfolding of things, should you choose to accept it. And you have a Guide... One who wants to show you the road to your adventure. With this truth, will you choose to step into that story? Because you're free to.



Example #4: Think about the thing you wish you could do. Writing, guitar, basketball, whatever. The thing you love, but you just don't feel like you're very good. "I can't write very well. So I guess I should just give it up."

The missing truth: Your "talents" are like a garden. Whatever you plant and cultivate, that's what comes out during harvest time. If you've read The Talent Code, you'll know that talent isn't born, it's grown. You need to learn the skills and practice, then YOU can write well. Go read 5 books about writing, and I promise you'll be a better writer. Then write once a week for a few years... and I PROMISE you'll be a much better writer. That info sets you free to pursue your dreams.

So... What Do You Do About It?

If having the truth leads to everything you want, then there's only one thing TO do...

Go. Get. The. Right. Information.

Get the truth.

The truth sets you free. Free to chase your dreams, free to grow and flourish, free to explore and adventure without fear. It ALWAYS does. It breaks you out of the constraints you've been fooled into putting on yourself. 

We've got to learn how to get the information we need to succeed. In life, in careers, in relationship with God. Lies keep us from being who we are. If we had the information... we could be everything we long to be that we were meant to be.

If you don't feel free, chances are you're not believing the truth.

Where are you being held captive? What lies might be keeping you there? What truth might there be that will free you?



John 8:32 - "And then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

John 8:36 - "So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

People Would Rather Shock Themselves Than Sit Alone With Their Thoughts... Why?

Photo by Frédéric BISSON

Does the thought of alone time make you uncomfortable?

Well, apparently you're not alone.

In a recent study documented on the Psyblog, people were given a choice to either sit still and do nothing but think... or shock themselves.

Guess which one most of them chose?

According to the study, people were put in a room for anywhere between 6 and 15 minutes (Wilson et al., 2014).

They were told to sit and just think, and that there was a button they could push that would give them a mild shock.

And do you know what?

At least half the people shocked themselves.

And the funny thing is, they had just been asked whether they would pay money not to be shocked. And many of the people who shocked themselves had said they would.

“What is striking is that simply being alone with their own thoughts for 15 minutes was apparently so aversive that it drove many participants to self-administer an electric shock that they had earlier said they would pay to avoid.” (Wilson et al., 2014). 

And apparently, this wasn't just your classic "teen obsessed with cell phone."

Older people tested the same way. The study included ages 18 to 77, from a wide range of backgrounds.

SO... what does this mean?

I've got two initial ideas. Either:

1. The people got bored. Then they got genuinely curious to see whether there was actually a shock, and how much it hurt. Then they probably figured, surely those psychologists wouldn't let me really hurt myself... and, out of boredom, gave themselves a little volt... I could see this being a reason for a few. But one of the participants shocked himself 190 times.

OR

2. People are growing increasingly afraid of who we've become. What do you do when you're not happy with your life? You try not to think about it. What do you do when you feel like you missed your life's purpose? You try not to think about it. We're a distracted bunch of people, these days. And sometimes our distractions are the only thing standing between us and the inner turmoil of our screaming thoughts.

Maybe there are other options. But I've noticed #2 is frighteningly common.

So the rest of this blog is about the 2nd one.

What do you see when you look back at your life?

I think we're more afraid of our thoughts than we know. We don't want to listen to the voices that sound unhappy with where we are in life, the ones that scream to us early in the morning before we can shut them up with our to do list, and late at night when our minds are too tired not to wander.

Why?

We're afraid of being wrong. We're afraid we're going to hear something in our heads that makes us think "you've made large time investments in the wrong areas."

But I want you to listen a little longer. Listen longer than you think you should.

Because there's more to the story. There's a light at the end of the tunnel.

I ran from my story for a long time. As a kid, I longed to be in a different one. I didn't see any worth in my story. Go to middle school, quietly do my work, go home. Have a crush on a girl who doesn't notice me. Watch her date someone else instead. Be unhappy with how life is. Wash, rinse, repeat.

And so I escaped into distraction.

Distraction with other stories, distraction with busyness, distraction with friends.

But it wasn't enough to get away from the feeling that I may never get to live in the story I really wanted.

But then I started figuring out who God really was. I started seeing that my actual desires matched his actual personality. And then, during college, I learned something that changed my life:

My scariest thoughts are the compass that will lead me straight to the life I've always wanted.

What if God's plan is that you live the story you've always longed to live?

I've got a new plan: Don't run from your thoughts. Stand up to them. Let them tell you the news, that you're running towards something you don't even want. And then, let them redirect you.

There's a way to shift course. It doesn't matter how "far gone" you are. 

And your desire for it will keep growing. You won't ever be able to completely shut it up.

Don't tune your own deep thoughts out. They may be trying to lead you to freedom.


(If you were moved by this post at all, I would love for you to either send me an email on the right side of the page, or comment down below, and tell me what it was. And tell me what's hard about being yourself. I intently read and respond to every email. Seriously.)

Why Your Childhood Dreams Are So Important to Understanding Yourself

Photo by Shannon Moore

I think we're missing out on something we had right as kids.

Do you remember all those grand dreams you used to have? Do you remember the way it made you feel to pretend they were true? 

It was one of the most incredible feelings in the world. It felt like you had somehow escaped into the world you belonged in, all along.

I don't care how stupid the dreams were. 

I don't care if they were dreams of knights and princesses. Or wizards and magic. Or Jedi and Star Wars (yes, you leave the "s" off Jedi). Or even Dragonball Z and all that anime stuff. 

I know you wished you could be something else. Something greater. Something magical.

We all did.

And somewhere along the way, we lost sight of it... what we really wanted.

The Lost Dreams of Your Childhood

If you've seen the movie Mr. Deeds, you might remember the part at the end in the stockholder's meeting. Adam Sandler asks a guy what he used to want to be when he grew up. "Veterinarian" was the answer. Why?

"I wanted to help sick animals," the guy said.

"And what do you do now?"

"I own a slaughter house."

A slaughter house. There's not much farther away you can get from a veterinarian.

I'm not going to lie, that part is so funny it almost makes me pee my pants. But it's got an eerie effect on me now... Maybe because I know how easy it is for this to happen to people. To happen to me.

Have you noticed that many old people are crabby and miserable, while most kids are carefree and blissful? Why do you think that is?

Could it be that many adults have lost the freedom that was so apparent to them as kids? That they've allowed bondage to overtake them?

We call it "growing up." We call it "getting realistic."

I call it loss.

And I don't think it has to do with jobs. I think it's something spiritual. I think we settle for something in a spiritual way -- a worse existence than God wants for us.

Maybe What Was Alive in Us as Kids Isn't Dead.

Think about what you wanted to be. What does it mean about you? What did you really want?

• Did you want to be an astronaut? Maybe you wanted to explore the unknown. Maybe you wanted to go on an adventure. Maybe you wanted to experience something thrilling, something you've never experienced before.

• Did you want to be a princess? Maybe you wanted to be desired. Maybe you wanted to know for sure you were truly valuable. Maybe you wanted to be an important part of things...

• Did you want to be a firefighter? Maybe you wanted to be a hero to an entire nation.  Maybe you wanted to earn the love and respect of everyone. Maybe you wanted to preserve the beauty in this world from the things that are trying to destroy it. 

• Did you want to be a knight in shining armor? Maybe you wanted to defeat an enemy for someone you love. Maybe you wanted to save a pretty girl. Maybe you wanted her to love you in return.

Could it be that you're still longing for these things?

I think it's a mistake to give up on them.

Because at its core, none of it is bad. This is the stuff we were made for.

And I'm not talking about the occupations. Obviously, nobody's going to pay you to be a knight in shining armor (unless you want a job as a college mascot, of course... and if you do, far be it from me to tell you how to live your life). I'm talking about what's under the occupations. 

Ever Wonder Why You Don't Connect With God? This Might Be Why. 

If you're too afraid to allow yourself to long, then there's nothing for him to fill.

What if God wants to connect with you in those deep places you used to dream about but gave up on?

What if you let yourself dream that again for a bit, and followed the rabbit hole to see where it took you?

I'm not saying quit your job to be an astronaut. I mean look for what your "True Self" was longing for, that was surfacing as wanting to be an astronaut.

Once you've figured out the core of your longing, you've figured out something you want from God.

And guess what -- I think he wants to give it to you.

Maybe not in the way you're thinking... but if He put a deep longing in you, He meant to fill it.

Somehow, life always seems to take us to the opposite end of the spectrum from God's Original Design for us. Barely anyone ever understands what they were truly made for. And I think it's because we don't understand our most raw desires as humans.

I think God is waiting to fill those places in us.

Honestly, I don't know exactly what this looks like for everyone. I just know my truest dreams have been a reflection of the things my deepest self has been intensely longing for all along. And maybe knowing more about that... would get us closer to connecting with God in the passionate way we've always longed to.

What might your childhood dreams be saying about what you really want?