Sometimes God Raises You Up Simply So You Can Make a Bigger Sacrifice . . .

Photo by Jason Train

Sometimes, you feel like you're wandering through life without any clue where you're going.

Other times, magic starts happening and you feel unstoppable.

My time in Nashville this past year has been an even mix. The beginning was extremely hard. I felt a little lost, a little lonely—and a lot afraid. 

But so far, the second half has been nothing short of a miracle. 

I want to tell you my crazy Nashville story, and the valuable secret about God I've learned from it.

Now...I Have to Admit Something.

The first six months of my time in Nashville were really hard.

I moved here to pursue music and writing. Six months later I was waiting tables at a hotel without being any closer to either goal. I had given up on music, and I was just trying to blog once a week and keep aiming at “writing my book,” whatever that meant.

The whole “having no clue what I want my life to look like” thing caught up with me.

And I was miserable. I felt like I had failed, I felt stupid for putting this dumb plan together (moving, taking a crap job, and writing) instead of looking for a “real job” before my internship ended.

The whole time, I felt like God was saying “wait and trust.”

But trust wasn't on my radar. I trusted in the job boards. I trusted indeed.com. That was my ticket out of this mistake. 

So instead, fear became the cadence of my life.

Fear that writing wasn't going to work out. Fear that I was missing out on something great back home. Fear that my resume was getting destroyed because I was waiting tables.

But 4 Months Ago...Everything Changed.

One day, as I was perusing a business blog I follow, I came across a guest post called "How to Get Awesome Results from a Low-Traffic Blog." I was intrigued. So I clicked and began to read.

The post was so good, I decided to send an email to the guy who wrote it.

As it turns out, that guy had left his writing job 3 days ago which turned out to be in Nashville, and he ended up asking me if I wanted to apply for it.

Um...yes. Yes I do.

I'm now working for an author management company run by a man who has done some remarkable things in the publishing industry. I feel so blessed that God put me in a place to learn how to write the book I feel He's called me to write...alongside people who have had major success doing it.

If you want to hear more about it, shoot me an email or leave a comment and we can have a nice chat :-)

But I believe God's BIGGEST lesson in all this...is about what comes after the blessings.

See, I don't think God put me here so I'd have a nicer life.

I think He put me here so I'd be in a position to give more of myself and make a bigger sacrifice.

Let me explain.

God Used the Book of Esther to Show Me This.

What? You mean like the book of Esther? What's that book even about?

That's what I said too.

Around the time I was feeling desperate, my friend Pua invited me to read Esther with her. She felt like God had a message for her in there, but she didn't know what it was. Naturally, I ran over to read it, because I wanted to figure it out before she did...

And that's when I found something that slapped me across the face. Let me set this up for you:

Esther was a poor Jewish girl living right smack in the middle of Persia. She had no parents, and her cousin Mordecai looked after her. They were both slaves.

All of a sudden, the king of Persia needed another queen. He looked all over Persia to find the woman he wanted to marry. And somehow...he chose Esther.

One minute, a slave—the next, a queen.

Esther's Purpose for Becoming Queen...Was to Risk Her Life.

At first glance, it seems like God decided, "Esther, you get to have a comfortable life of power and wealth. Have fun!" But when you look closer...God had much bigger plans. 

Right around the time Esther became queen, this evil guy named Haman tricked the king into sentencing every Jew in Persia to death.

People were horrified. In a few short months, every Jew in Persia would be exterminated.

Mordecai told Esther, "You have to do something! We're all going to be killed! Please, go talk to the king."

But an uninvited audience with the king was an automatic death sentence. The only way around it was if the king held up his golden scepter. But the king hadn't called Esther in for over a month. There was no way of knowing whether he even liked her anymore.

As Esther frantically told Mordecai how dangerous it was, he simply said:

"Who knows but that you've come to royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14)

And I love Esther's reply:

“...Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” (Esther 4:16)

Esther chose to risk it. And she set into motion a turn of events that saved every Jew in Persia from being murdered.

Here’s something interesting I noticed. Esther wasn’t raised up so that she could have an easier life. She was raised up so she could be in the position to make the sacrifice she was meant to make.

Not so she could have more fame, fortune, and fun. So she could help God's people.

And I Think That's God's Message for Us, Too.

God's given me a unique opportunity to learn about writing a book from the best in the business. And I know it's not a mistake that I'm learning these things.

But it's not just to make my life better. It's not just to learn how to make money. It's not the "Prosperity Gospel."

It's to learn how God wants me to give my life away.

It seemed like, through Esther, God was saying:

"I'm going to bring you into this place for a very important reason. And I want you to stay alert for the reason why you're learning how to do these things, because you're going to need to know how to do them when I ask you to sacrifice for me."

My time. My energy. My comfort. I want to be willing to give them away. If I get the chance to do something extremely impactful one day, I want to be willing to make that impact by working harder, risking more, and staying alert for whatever God calls me to do.

Wherever you are in your journey, I think God wants the same from you. When God blesses you with something great, keep an eye out for the purpose behind it.

This Will Be My Last Post for a Little While.

For a few months, I'm going to be taking a blogging hiatus. I'm going to focus on learning as much as I can. And when I come back, I'll have a revamped website and a new ebook.

If you've enjoyed reading the blog, I want to ask you to sign up for the newsletter so we don't lose touch (Just type your info into the orange bar at the top of the screen). I won't blow your inbox up, promise :-)

I'd hate to miss out on connecting with you when I come back, and I'll almost certainly have my ebook by then as well. It's called The Young Life Leader Survival Guide, and it's almost finished. 

I'll be sending everyone on my email list a free copy. I want you to have one!

(IMPORTANT: Check your email for a confirmation message immediately after you join.)

The new blog will focus on my deepest passion—helping people discover their purpose.

I hope you'll join me in a few months—Let's continue journeying together.

3 Ways to Beat Negativity and Slander in Your Friend Group

Photo by Gonzalo Baeza

I had an incredible house in college.

The dingy old "Sheila House" was everything I needed—dirt cheap rent, an acceptable house (one that wouldn't fall over), and a group of awesome roommates. It was perfect. We stuffed 8 guys into that place.

Only 4 were on the lease. Don't tell the landlord.

While we had some great times, we also had the same struggles as any house full of college kids does—like weird situations with bills, confusion over cleaning responsibilities, or misunderstandings that turn into groups of frustrated roommates...


I've lived in more than a few houses. And I've talked to a lot of other people from a lot of other houses. And here's something I've found out:

Roommates tend to struggle with negativity.

The Struggle of Slander

The most common gateway to negativity is slander.

What is slander? Well, let me give you some examples. Glad you're so curious today.

Think about the last time you said:

• So-and-so is just so annoying when he does this thing.
• She never shuts up about her boyfriend.
• He's just so freaking selfish. He never thinks about anyone but himself.
• [Insert comically demeaning impression of goofy friend here]

Those things could be considered slander.

Here's the thing—those kinds of ideas are infectious. When you hear them, they spread to you. When you say them, they spread to your friends. Take a minute to remember the last time you heard someone talking about someone else.

"John is a selfish jerk."

I'm willing to bet your mind automatically took on that person's idea, at least partially. And the next time you looked at the person being talked about, you thought, "Man, I guess John really is selfish." And your view of him was damaged because of it.

Slander is Destructive

We are all social learners. We all learn from other people. We can very quickly and easily change a friend's perception of other people if we start talking about them.

I don't think I need to explain to you how this can damage interpersonal relationships between friends, roommates, or families. I think we all know full well it's true. Because we've all experienced pain or isolation because of it.

Slander can be extremely damaging to:

• your ministry
• your friendships
• your spiritual community (you need this to be healthy)
• your friends themselves

Here's why it messes all these things up. When we talk bad about someone to someone else, we're disagreeing with the "Original Design" of that person—the plan God has had for that person from the beginning.

We're dooming them to be less than they were created to be in our own minds.

And that's sad. Especially when I look back and see the damage it's caused in my own life.

I have a long, colored history of participating in negativity. I've soured a friend's thoughts about another friend. I've joined in disparaging conversation about someone else that lead to a strained house community. I've even caused one of my roommates to stop trusting one of my other roommates.

And I want to tell you from experience—It's not worth it.

I believe slander is a tool used by Satan to destroy healthy community and isolate us.

3 Ways to Fight Negativity and Promote Community in Your House

If I want community in my house, I've found that I have to make a conscious effort to notice and fight slander and negativity when they pop up.

Here are three ways to do this:

1. Challenge what you hear about other people. When someone says something bad about another person, you normally believe it without questioning it. Then, you hear that negative echo in your head every time you're with them. I talked about slander to a friend recently...and she had realized that none of her bad thoughts even originated from her own mind. They were all from hearing other people talk about someone. She also realized they weren't even true. When you hear something about someone, ask yourself, "Do I think this is true? Or do my friends just think this is true?"

2. Open up your life. If you live in a house, be inclusive. Letting people in on your plans will break down barriers of isolation and lead to powerful community. It can also lead to healing conversation. Opening up to your friends is a powerful weapon when you're fighting to beat negativity and restore good friendship.

3. Be intentionally and awkwardly nice. Here's my favorite way to fight slander. When someone I know talks bad about someone else, I try to think of something extremely nice to say about the person being talked about. That always makes things super awkward, because NO ONE talks nice about people anymore...but it also unlocks something hidden away in people—their desire to build up their friends.  If you want to change a culture of negativity and stop slander, break the pattern by saying something awkwardly nice.


Fighting negativity requires two things: First, noticing it. Second, choosing to do something about it. Choose to do something about it when you notice it. If you're lonely or you need a good support system that's broken because of negativity—don't settle for it.

Change the game. Change your house. Change the world.

How Sites Like Buzzfeed Can Steal Your Sabbath

Photo by Mike Licht

So I noticed something the other day.

I spent part of my Sunday surfing around on good old Facebook. And then I realized it was stressing me out.

I was using Facebook as a way to relax...you know, because it's supposed to be relaxing to glide around the internet, sightseeing at your own pace.

But that's not what happened at all. Instead, one of those obnoxious magnetic headlines drew me in. It said something like "This is how we know we still have a problem in America." And its sole purpose was to make me furious.

Not exactly the emotional state I was planning for my day of rest.

Have you ever had a day off that somehow inexplicably wore you out just as much as a normal work day?

It's most likely because you had no peace. 

And Facebook may be one of the culprits.

If you ever get on Facebook, you know the articles I'm talking about—the ones with the headlines that say something like "A woman feeds a bear with her head, and what happens next is not surprising...I can't believe this is allowed to be on the internet!!!"

Here's a secret: the people who put out those "clickbait" headlines are using your emotions to make money.

For my content marketing job, I've been doing a lot of studying into why people share things online. Would you like to know what makes people share things?

The Buzzfeed "Provoke the Reader" Formula

Let me tell you what sites like Buzzfeed are doing to you.

In the book Made to Stick, Chip and Dan Heath reported a study that suggested when your heart rate goes up, you're more likely to share something on social media.

So...these sites' main goal is to get you to experience an emotion that makes your heart rate rise.

Emotions like:

• Anger
• Stress
• Astonishment
• Fear
• Humor 

Because if they can get you to feel one of those, you'll share it more often.

But...aside from humor, those emotions aren't very restful, are they? Buzzfeed isn't overly concerned about you getting the rest you need, are they? If you're like me, you almost never come away from Facebook feeling "rested."

Don't Let Social Media Steal Your Rest Day

People need legitimate rest in order to recharge. Once a week. It's how we were made. Our souls have to take a break from stress, work, and frustration.

For me, provoking social media articles are often the thieves who steal my rest. And it's been so subtle, I haven't realized it until now.

So, if you've been feeling run down, like your rest days haven't been rest days—keep a close eye on the articles you choose to read during your Sabbath. Are they designed to bring you away from a state of rest, so you'll do what they want you to do—share the article?

Be careful on your day of rest. Buzzfeed can take it from you.

Mark 2:27 - "Then Jesus said to them, "The Sabbath was made to meet the needs of people, and not people to meet the requirements of the Sabbath."

4 Good Reasons Why Opening Up to Your Friends Will Make Your Life Better

Photo by Derek Mindler

We live in a world of increasing isolation.

No one really opens up anymore. Because we don't have to. Instead, we can just choose to zone out, use our smartphones, watch Netflix.

We can choose to live the deepest part of our lives completely alone.

And many of us have. I know I've made that choice on plenty of occasions.

It's normal these days to live our deepest lives alone, and just show the fake surface to our friends. Why? Because "opening up" has been dubbed as something weak people do. So instead, we hide.

We hide in the dark, by ourselves at night in our bed, without any rational person's voice to challenge Satan's whisperings.

"You're pathetic. You'll never be good enough."

"Why can't you be more like her? Then maybe you'd have what she has."

"Don't tell anyone. Deal with this by yourself like a big boy. Everyone else does."

Let me tell you something. 

You are being lied to.

Many of the things your inner accuser says aren't even true. But you'll never know that unless you begin to open up about them. And that's why I've compiled a short list of four big reasons why opening up is extremely important to your ministry, community, and spiritual life.

4 Reasons to Open Up to Your Friends

1. It makes you stronger. Opening up feels like it makes you weak... but trust me, it doesn't. In my mind, there's a thought that I'll become a weakling if I open up. But every single time I've opened up, it's made me much stronger, resolved, and clear in my thinking. It's simply a good decision. Learn to think of opening up less like wussing out...and more like working out.

2. It not only makes you stronger, but it makes your friends stronger too. When you open up about your struggles, your friends realize it's okay to struggle themselves. Everyone struggles. Let's stop pretending that some of us don't! Hearing about your problems helps your friends grasp, own, and overcome their problems. You strengthen everyone along with you when you open up. The Bible uses the picture of "iron sharpening iron" to describe two people opening up to each other. Everyone gets sharper when true struggles are brought to the light.

3. People start believing lies when they're alone. Isolation is a huge factor in our pain, sin, and hurt... and in the lies we believe. When we're not listening to any voices of reason, we start to listen to that voice that beats us up when we're by ourselves in our beds at night, wondering why we don't measure up. But listening to a friend gives you another voice, one that can tell you if what you're believing about yourself is true or not.

4. You get closer to people you care about. And when community is strengthened... you get to understand your friends better...and have much deeper, meaningful relationships in your life. Who doesn't want that?

Yes, we live in a world of increasing isolation. But we don't have to settle for it. We can choose to open the door to the community we were made for.

But we truly have to choose it. We actually have to take a step forward.

Crack the door of your heart open to someone you trust. And don't be surprised when the blessings built up on the other side tumble into your life like an overstuffed closet.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 - "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up."

Improve Your Spiritual Life by Acting like...a Child?

Photo by ann_jutatip

Pressure always seems to accompany important goals.

Perform well, or fail in your purpose. That's what we tell ourselves.

As I've been writing my book, I've begun feeling the heaviness of intimidating, unanswered questions. What if I fail? What if I don't have what it takes to write a best selling book?

The pressure recently came to a tipping point for me. I started feeling like I had brought a Nerf gun into a war zone. I'm so in over my head, I thought. I don't know how to do this.

So I broke down. I wept over feeling inadequate to carry God's message well enough. He had entrusted me with something to say, something that's changed my life, and I felt completely insufficient to share that message in a compelling way.

But then, God met me with a surprising answer.

There's a little story in the Bible about how Jesus interacted with children (Matt. 19:14), where he says something extremely peculiar:

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them — for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

I've heard this verse all my life — but the message hit me differently this time:

The kingdom belongs to people who live, love, and ask like little children. People who don't fake like they know it all, like they can handle the heavy lifting alone. People who instead realize the need to depend on the one who's been guiding their story all along.

"Depending on God" has become a muddled, colorless phrase — a ringing we've tuned out, a smell we've gotten used to. We mindlessly say, "Yes, depend on God." And then we go off to build our castles without inviting Him to help.

But we've missed one thing — one wildly important thing — that we can't build anything of eternal significance without His hands.

When we do try, it's like carrying a toy gun into a war zone. Your gun may be big and impressive...but it's still shooting Nerf darts. Have fun trying to win a war with your Nerf darts.

We are out of our league.

But maybe God likes that. Maybe He crafted our lives this way on purpose, so He would get the glory instead.

That's been God's rhythm from the beginning.

So often, we feel unfit to do important things in this world. But we forget that He used the unfit people to do his greatest works.

Look what Moses said —“Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue...” (Exodus 4:10). 

Or what Gideon said —“Pardon me, my Lord, but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family” (Judges 6:15).

God always seems to invite the "unfit" to be key players in His big rescue story. Because they seem to be the only ones with the heart space to let God do what He wants. They're the only ones who know they HAVE to depend on Him.

In that case, I'm so glad I fit into the "unfit" category!

So God wants you to become more dependent, like a child. 

How do you do that?

Here are some ways to be more like a kid:

1. Kids know when they need help, and they ask for it. When children get hungry, they don't think, I've got to find a way to get the money to pay for McDonalds. They just say, "MOM! I need food." And they ask for it unashamedly. Because they're kids.

2. Kids have full trust that their parents will attend to their needs. As one might expect, children are masters of "childlike faith." After making their needs known, they don't sit there and worry whether their parents are going to come through. Kids have faith that their needs will actually be met.

3. Kids operate out of that safety. If it's dinner time, they'll make their way downstairs. If they need something for school — no need to order it online, because mom said it's going to be waiting for them by the door tomorrow.  Kids' actions reflect the certainty that their needs will be met.

I want these qualities in my relationship with God.

Because once they make their way into my spiritual life, I know I'll begin to see them in my writing, my job, and my ministry.

I'm convinced God wants that for me. And I think he wants it for you, too.

What might it look like for you to adopt childlike habits in your spiritual life?

An Hour a Day: The Necessity of Spending Daily Time with God

Photo by Tim Parkinson

An hour a day.

That is what I felt like God wanted from me last year. One hour per day of time with Him.

Have you ever felt like you should spend more time with God, but you just never get around to it?

Me too.

I spent an hour a day, for about a day, and then promptly disregarded it.

I've lived many days without that hour in the past year. Because, let's face it—other things just seem more important sometimes.

The Distraction of Busyness

I moved to Nashville last year because I felt the calling to write a book. And in order to do that, I had to create space in my life to write a book. Once I got here, I was blown away by what I didn't know. I realized:

1. I had no idea how to write a book.
2. I had no idea what to do with a book once I had written it.
3. I had no idea how to get other people to take a second glance at my future book.

That huge knowledge gap scared me. I wasn't sure what to do. So I did the only thing I could think of. I started reading, blogging, and practicing... as much as I could.

There didn't end up being much room for "an hour a day" in my strict new schedule. It was more of "an hour here, 10 minutes there, 30 minutes three days later..."

But the funny thing is, right when I moved here—while I was frantically learning as much as I could—I had this feeling that God was trying to tell me something:

"You think you're here to carry my message, to write a really awesome book, to do all this work—but my main goal for you...is just to spend time with me."

Which obviously sounded counterintuitive to me. So I didn't pay much attention. I've got other things on my plate, God.

Fast forward about six months. I've been trying to learn everything I can about blogging and writing. I feel the huge burden to write this book, so I can fulfill my purpose. I'm always behind in my work. It always seems like there's so much to do. 

Only One Thing Is Needed

A friend of mine sent me an email a while back. I had told her about my struggles, and she sent back a couple verses.

She sent me the story of Mary and Martha from Luke 10:41.

The verses were Jesus' words to Martha, when she was running around frantically, trying to get all her work done. Mary was just sitting at his feet. And when Martha asked Jesus to tell Mary to help out—because there was SO much work to do—this is what he said:

"Martha, Martha—you are worried about so many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Wow.

I've been scurrying around, doing all my stuff. I've been worried that if I don't get it all done, I'll mess up my purpose or something.

I have to learn how to grow my blog. I have to learn how to get my message out to millions of people. I have to learn how to write, market, and sell books so that God's purpose for my life can be fulfilled. I don't have time to just sit around for an hour a day...

But God's been saying all along, "the most important thing you can do... is to spend that hour with me."


And I've been too busy living my life like Martha.

Give the Seed Room to Flourish

I've picked up the "hour a day" routine again. I'm not perfect at it. I suck at schedules. But that's part of the growth process. And the time I spend with Him doesn't always feel groundbreaking... but I think God likes to make magic happen in the ordinary.

Here's why I told you that story. I believe God wants consistent, ordinary relationship time with you, too. Every day. It might not seem important. But that time is the water that grows the seed inside you.

Jesus says the kingdom of God is like a seed that grows, whether you know it or not (Mark 4:26). And that means... you and I don't have control over the actual growth of that seed. All we can do is give it the environment to flourish by showing up.

Give the seed inside you space to grow. Because at the end of the day—God's growth inside you is far more valuable than anything else.

You're worried about many things, but only one thing is needed.

The Two Different Types of Pride (The Second Isn't What You Think)

Photo by Alexis Nyal

One of my most surprising moments in Christianity was when I learned there were two different types of pride.

Of course, I knew about arrogance. Pride was always just arrogance to me. I was always careful to deflect everyone's compliments so I wouldn't be seen as arrogant...and so I wouldn't think too highly of myself.

Someone: "Hey, you're pretty smart!"

Me: "Nah, I'm really not. You definitely wouldn't be saying that if you followed me around all day."

Someone: "You're really good at that!"

Me: "Nah, there's a ton of people way better than me. I'm really not very good."

And then, of course, I had to make sure I didn't start thinking those things were true. Otherwise, I'd be prideful. So I'd quickly remind myself of why I'm actually terrible.

This is what I used to consider "humility."

I always thought this was okay—being really hard on myself, frequently criticizing my own actions, and agreeing with the voices in my head that said, "This is why you're not worth much."

I thought this was fine. After all, it does say in the Bible, "Don't think too highly of yourself than you ought," right? So berating myself is fine, because it means I'm safe from pride, right?

Wrong.

Actually, I realized when I was tearing myself down, I was being just as prideful as when I was being arrogant. You see, pride is actually the base problem that leads to both arrogance AND false humility.

Let me explain:

The Two Types of Pride 

#1. Arrogance:

Arrogance is straightforward. Arrogance is being consumed with thoughts of yourself. Arrogance is thinking too highly of yourself. When you have the base problem of pride, and you do something good, here's what happens:

• you do a good thing
• you start attributing that thing totally to yourself
• you start thinking way too highly of yourself 

Arrogance says, "I can do it on my own. I'm self-sustaining. I deserve more."


#2. False Humility:

False humility is the one we don't think about. It's the one that flies under the radar.

False humility is being consumed with thoughts of yourself, but these thoughts are all very low thoughts of yourself.

When you have the base problem of pride, and you do something bad, here's what happens:

• You screw up
• You wallow in self pity
• You beat yourself up over and over
• You constantly think about yourself negatively

False humility says, "I suck. I'm the worst. Everything about me is completely worthless."

The Common Thread between the Two

There's a common thread running through both of these:

They're both completely focused on us.

And "US" is not what we were made for. That's why it's so incredibly unsatisfying. We were made for more than that—we were made to focus outward.

That's the definition of true humility.

C.S. Lewis says, "Humility isn't thinking less of yourself... it's thinking of yourself less."

This quote completely blew my mind when I first heard it. Because I, like most others, would routinely tear myself down when I got a compliment—I thought it was the "Christian" thing to do. And I had no idea that my destructive self-critical thoughts were completely unhealthy.

Pride = Self, Humility = Others

The most important thing I've learned about pride is this:

When my focus goes from being outward to being inward, I'm being prideful.

That's the lens I look through when I look at pride now. "I'm so good" and "I'm so terrible" are both different forms of pride. 

I was completely floored the first time I realized this. But it all made sense, because they both end up making me the same amount of miserable.

How to Be Truly Humble:

Here are some new guidelines that have begun to cultivate true humility in my life:

• Stop thinking about yourself so much. When life is all about you, there's nowhere else to go but pride. It's either, "I'm so great" or "I'm so terrible." And neither are healthy.

• Make your life about God and others.  It's counterintuitive, I know, not worrying about yourself all the time. This is how we were made to work best. God wants our focus to be on Him and other people, not ourselves. 

• Stop attributing your successes and failures to yourself. Start seeing God's hand in both your wins and losses. That will keep you focused on Him, and not on you.

We were made for selfless living, says John Piper. He calls it "Christian Hedonism." It means finding your true joy and value in selflessness. And apparently, that's the way we were made to get real joy... Glorifying God instead. It's hard to do, but it's the way we will truly come alive.

And by the way—if you regularly beat yourself up...you owe yourself an apology. (Check AndreaLucado.com for a great post on apologizing to yourself.)